13 months and 2 days..but who's counting???

This morning I woke up with a mental "To Do" list running thru my head..instead of going back to sleep, I rolled out of bed and wrote it all down while it was still fresh in my mind. Grocery shop, check to see if Katie's computer has been cleaned of the virus she received, clean house, laundry, pack.... The list is longer and seems to grow faster than I can check things off. I am packing for my trip to North Carolina tonight. I will be attending the "She Speaks" writer's and speaker's conference for christian women for the next 4 days. My emotions range from excitement to see what God has waiting for all of us when we get there and a sickening feeling that I am going to a place filled with people who are truly gifted in these areas and I will discover that I do not belong. I'm clinging to the hope that the last thought is Satan messing with my head!!

As I look out my windows onto my front porch and take in the beauty of the ocean and let the smell and sound of it wash over me.... I can hear the Lord whispering, "Be obedient, walk where I lead, I got the rest". Simple enough, right????

My thoughts rest on my morning devotional and the truth that was there waiting for me.

What is my vision of God’s purpose for me? Whatever it may be, His purpose is for me to depend on Him and on His power now. If I can stay calm, faithful, and unconfused while in the middle of the turmoil of life, the goal of the purpose of God is being accomplished in me. God is not working toward a particular finish— His purpose is the process itself. What He desires for me is that I see “Him walking on the sea” with no shore, no success, nor goal in sight, but simply having the absolute certainty that everything is all right because I see “Him walking on the sea” ( Mark 6:49 ). It is the process, not the outcome, that is glorifying to God.

The bigger picture we think we are pressing towards is actually of little importance...the trust we place in Him during the process of getting wherever we think we are going IS HIS PURPOSE FOR US.

As I tackle my "To Do" list I will rest in this knowledge, I will prayerfully take it with me as I board my plane, and I will call on it as I sit amidst writer's and speaker's....and know my obedience to Him was my answer to His call.

13 months and 2 days since Skip went home to glory....

I miss him and think of him daily, he is apart of me that I am forever connected to and grateful for. My life is like nothing I expected....it reflects nothing of the goals we set and were pressing towards together... yet, I am convinced without a shadow of a doubt that I am living my days with the Lord holding my hand and I feel His gentle tugging when I dig my heels in because I don't want to take another step...I even say out loud, "No Lord, not one more step, not one more day, not one more hour...". He is beautifully patient!! He waits as I put my pitty party hat on, blow my pitty party horn, and light my pitty party candle. He sends me His words and reminds me that the goal is not getting wherever I think I am going...but the faith I live out during the journey. In that truth.... I take a deep breath and take another step...and yet another.

Gotta Run!