2010 Honolulu Marathon

2010 Honolulu Marathon

2010 Honolulu Marathon

2010 Honolulu Marathon

2010 Honolulu Marathon

2010 Honolulu Marathon

2010 Honolulu Marathon

Aloha Friends!!!

Aloha and Mahalo for visiting my blog! I started this blog as I began training for the 2010 Honolulu Marathon.. I have now met that goal!!! Thank you for taking this journey with me! 2 Timothy 4:7 "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith".

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

I AM A 2010 HONOLULU MARATHON FINISHER!!!

I have been thinking about this "Aloha Blog" for sometime now...wondering what words the Lord would give to me. I'm sitting here, 2 days after the Marathon, still wondering! Okay Lord, please show up, show off, and let Your words come out of me!

We flew from Maui to Oahu the Friday before the race. My Mother-in-Law, niece, friend Sarah, Carol and I, all arrived with excitement and our own individual thoughts and emotions. We picked up our Race packets right after we arrived. The Honolulu Marathon had over 26,000 runners and 60% of those runners were from Japan. Walking thru the Expo was like being at Disneyland and riding "It's a Small World". I heard so many different languages in the 2 hours we were there, some lilting and lyrical, others choppy and gruff..some just plain loud and annoying. :) Although I could not begin to tell you what they were saying "exactly"...I got the gist of it, we were all EXCITED to be there and we all wanted souvenirs to take home to commemorate our achievements! No need for a translator...we were linked by a common goal. In less than 48hrs we were all going to walk, jog, run, crawl.. 26.2 miles. A key chain, a t-shirt, a water bottle...even a bumper sticker, all sounded like wise ways to spend our money!! :)

Saturday morning we set out to drive the course. From start to finish we drove mile after mile, taking note of the port a potty locations, the inclines, the shady stretches and of course..the only hill on the course..Diamond Head. The drive took us about an hour and a half....the run on sunday would be a completely different story!

By Saturday night my emotions were on high tilt...someone would hug me and look me deep in the eyes and I would well up. I spoke with family and friends on the phone and I would break down and ball. We would be praying and I would weep and then get it together, only to have them cry!! There was no getting around it, I was experiencing deep emotions that I had held at bay for a very long time. The flood gates opened up and I came face to face with all my sorrows, fears, doubts, excitement, nerves and just plain disbelief that the "moment" had arrived. We had carbed up for dinner, I had pinned my bib number to my jog bra, my running chip was secured on my shoes, and I had sent my last FB status update. It was time to hit the sack. My cousins were driving Sarah, Carol and I to the race in the morning and had generously opened their home to us the night before. Carol and Sarah were in one room and I was in another. Kale, one of my cousin's sons' graciously lent me his room. Kale is a great guy...who loves animals...ALL animals. He has been known to bring home strays of all kinds and give them a home..in his room..the one I would be sleeping in.

That night, the night before the race...the race I have been training for, Kale's room was home to a snake and an Iguana. When it was time to go to bed, I went upstairs to his room and opened the door and turned on the switch for the light. Nothing happened. The room remained pitch black. I shut the door and stood outside of his room for a few seconds. I opened the door and tried the switch again..still NOTHING. Trying to not let my imagination get the best of me..I went downstairs and asked his sister, "Is Kale's snake and Iguana in their glass tanks with the lids on...with no possibility of them getting out?" I could see on her face that she was actually playing with the idea of "toying" with me. I stood my ground and gave her the "look" and repeated my question. Once she confirmed that there was no chance that Kale's pets could get loose, I resigned myself to believing her and went back upstairs. I opened the door, walked in the room and shut the door. I was immediately engulfed in blackness..and eery quiet! I took a deep breath and took another step toward what I could only assume was the direction to the bed. I walked right into a drum set..and was greeted by the clanging of the symbols! I stilled it..AND my heart and pressed on. I took tentative steps and tried to feel my way around. I walked over piles of clothes and made my way to the mattress on the floor. I cleared the bed of "stuff" that seemed like a tennis shoe, more clothes and possibly a clock that was unplugged. I straightened the covers, put my headphones on, turned my IPOD to "shuffle", said goodnight to my caged (Lord, I pray they are caged!), roommates, and fell into a deep sleep! Thank you, Lord!!!

We woke the next morning, RACE DAY at 3am. We planned to be at the race by 4:15ish so we would have plenty of time to get settled before the race started at 5am. My first thought when I got up was, "Here we go". Putting on my running clothes felt almost like I was going for an early morning jog..something I had been doing for almost 11 months now. There was just one big difference..my top had a bib number pinned to it...9782. This was the day I had been training for. This was the day I had been imagining in my head. This was the day that me and 26,000 other runners had marked on our calenders. This was the day that the Lord had made! Honestly, I was not experiencing feelings of rejoicing or being glad in it!! Yet.

We arrived at the race, toast in our bellies and port a potties on our minds. Downtown Honolulu was in full Marathon mode..from the loud pulsing music blaring from well positioned speakers..to the local news teams interviewing excited runners..to the now familiar layers of languages all swirling around me. Fifteen minutes before the Start, we stood still and sang the National Anthem..Five minutes before the Start, the sky exploded with a brilliant display of fireworks. The last minute before we took our first steps..I prayed, "Lord, I'm Yours, let's do this!"

I wasn't going to share this next fact..but I remembered this is MY Blog, what you read is all of me! The night before the race, I took my running shoes and went to a quiet spot. I took out a small container I brought from home and held it close to my heart. I opened the lid, and with love and the Lord in my heart..poured it's contents onto the inside souls of my shoes. When the Race started, I took those first steps, with prayer on my lips, determination in my heart..and a tiny portion of my dear Skip's ashes in my shoes..he would be taking the journey with me, every step of the way!

Mile after mile we pressed on. The sea of runners, joggers and walkers was so thick, we were weaving in and out at a consistent pace for the first several miles. I have mentioned this before and I'll say it again..I am not a "joyful" jogger. I begin every run with one thought in mind..to finish! Carol and Sarah chatted about the weather, the crazy outfits that some runners were wearing, the stores we passed along the route, and the Christmas lights displayed brightly in the darkness of the early morning. I said not one word. At one point, it may have been around mile 13, Carol came along one side of me and Sarah the other. Carol asked, "do you wanna hear about Sarah's story of moving from her townhouse to her house..or do you wanna stay focused?"..I grunted, "stay focused". It's not a truth I'm proud of..but I just was not IN THE MOOD to CHAT!

I could easily have cried from mile one all the way to the Finish. My emotions had my eyes brimming with tears and I had to force myself to swallow them and put them in check. I told myself I had to keep it together and not shed my tears until I could afford the emotional cost. I drank water and Gatorade from every hydration station. I ate every Goo chomp Carol handed me without argument. I even squatted in the bushes to "shishi" rather than wait in the ridiculously long lines for the bathrooms. What I couldn't do..was lose my focus.

Mile 20 came and my wheels started to come off. Everything was going fine up until then. I started to notice that my legs hurt..ALOT. I started to ache in the backs of my knees, and my tears were getting harder to swallow back. After mile 20, I started to LOOK HARD for every mile marker. The miles seemed to go on FOREVER! The silence from all the runners seemed louder than the live bands that were playing in front yards along the route. To be surrounded by so many people that were saying nothing, was noticeable. I will remember that quiet mixed with the sound of feet pounding on the pavement forever and define it as "focused determination".

Mile 23 had us trekking up Diamond Head for the second time. The hill felt never ending. I kept looking for the next mile marker and saying to myself, "Come on 24!!! Come on 24!!" When we hit mile 24 I immediately began scanning ahead for mile marker 25!! Throughout the entire race I continued to say out loud to myself, "You Got This!, Lord, WE Got This!" I repeated that phrase over and over as I took step after step. I stopped and stretched several times between mile 24 and 25. My legs felt like rubber and now..the tears were silently streaming down my face. I couldn't hold them in any longer. My emotions were surfacing and exploding out of me. As Diamond Head leveled out I looked to my left and took in the breathtaking view of the ocean and the sun shining so brightly above it and on it. I looked out at the surfers and smiled thru my tears. I was openly sobbing as I saw surfers catch wave after wave. I spoke to Skip and said, "Babe, this is it. I'm doing it! We're doing it! I know you are proud of me, can you believe I'm about to finish this thing!!?" I took deep breaths and told Carol how much I loved her. We hit mile 26 and jogged down Diamond Head and started to make the turn towards the Finish. I could see the big white tents, the tents that housed my Finisher t-shirt and medal!!! The three of us raised our arms and jogged on as they announced our names over the loudspeaker. I heard my name being yelled and saw friends and family cheering us on. I stopped on the way in and hugged them all, crying with them as they lovingly waved signs, took pictures and shared in this amazing moment!

The whole race was such an individual journey. Although I was surrounded by all those people, knowing the Lord had moved my feet every step of the way..I had to acknowledge my part: I chose to let the Lord move me. Mile after mile, six hours and 50 minutes out on that course..I was yielded to my Father. I faced myself and all that was and is inside of me. Six hours and 50 minutes is a long time for self introspection. I truly experienced moments of aloneness. Moments of deep sorrow, knowing that Skip would not physically be greeting me at the Finish. I had to be honest with myself and admit that a small part of me still clung to the tiniest of hopes that he would..somehow be there. Believing that by accomplishing this goal that I set..by sweating..aching and digging deeper than I ever have physically AND mentally..the Lord would choose to turn the "reality clock" back..just for me. Some of the tears I shed as I neared that Finish line were born from needing to once again accept what the truth was, what my God had decided to be my reality. The other tears that rolled down my face, the tears that caused me to raise my hands high to the sky, the tears that I could smile through..were born from sharing my achievement with those who love me. Those who pray for me. Those who embraced me at the Finish, and those who were across the ocean whispering up prayers on my behalf. I cried because I miss my best friend..but I am RICH with love!!

Katie girl hugged me and whispered in my ear that she is proud to be my daughter. She said, "Mom, I'm so thankful that God gave me you as an example of how to love Him". For that gift, I cried thankful tears, humbled tears and overwhelmed tears.

This "Aloha Blog" could go on and on..but I believe everything has been said. I am honored that you took this journey with me. I am blessed that your prayers, love and encouragement carried me mile after mile. I pray that what He chose for me to write, would allow you to see Him in me and in yourselves. Our journeys are all different, all mixed with joys and sorrows. However, our common thread of hope, the reason we strive to understand and fulfill our purpose, is truly what links our hearts together.

The race was not about me finishing, although that was my goal. The days of training, the learned discipline, the action of obedience, no matter if I "felt" like it..was God's plan the entire time for me. Long ago, during a trying time in my life, I heard the Lord audibly say to me repeatedly, "Kimmy, if you love Me, you will serve with Me with your whole heart". That's the journey. That continues to be my plan.

I will press on, and serve Him with my whole heart! The morning of the race I wrote "2 Tim. 4:7" on my left arm..I looked down at it alot on race day. Although it has since been washed off..it will forever be imprinted on my heart!

2 Timothy 4:7 "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith."

The Marathon continues..for all of us!

My heart is getting put back together because of your love for Him that spills out of each of you..onto me! I flew back to Maui wearing my FINISHER t-shirt and medal proudly! My running shoes were peeled off my feet after the race..and haven't been touched since!

Gotta Run!
(Not literally..I'm taking a little break!)

Click here to see my finisher video!

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

5 days!!!

Carol and I went for our 3 mile run today and we both commented on our thoughts of "what are we gonna do after the big race"?? We know we will continue to build our friendship, but it will be the beginning of new things for both of us.

We serve such an amazing Lord and Father!!! I still marvel at how He blessed me with such a dear sister who had the strengths and gifts that would speak into my life just when I needed them!!

It is a continual reminder that our Father gives us "enough" manna for the day we are in. We don't get an extra dose, a supply to store up for later...we get "enough" for today. He provided Carol in the form of my manna..I needed a trainer, I needed a tangible plan to reach my goal..Carol was my manna. Come Monday, when I wake up after the Marathon..He will show me the next steps I am to take..and I trust He will provide my manna. :) Why wouldn't I? He has met me in all my needs...always giving me "enough". Although I have screamed, shouted, begged, prayed and cried for MORE..He has met me in my need...and given me enough.

Last night I had an interesting conversation with my 16yr old daughter, Katie. I had to limit her on something that she would have rather I not. My words were confusing, difficult for her to understand. Her initial response to me was that she felt I was holding her back, not letting her grow up. Boy, those words never get easier to hear. I lovingly told her, "Babe, it IS hard for me to watch my little girl grow up...but that is not what my limits are about. Your innocence is for me to protect, and I will forever do just that". She took time to think about my words, and when we went to bed, she said, "Mom, I know you are right, it's hard even when I know you are right..but I love you and accept your decision". There was no long hug, there was no kisses and sweet nose rubs..her words were...just "enough".

Today I got a text from her with "xoxox"...Thank you Lord! Sometimes as parents, we want MORE...but we GET enough! :)

Gotta Run!!!!

Monday, December 6, 2010

6 days..yikes!

Today I ran 3 miles and as we went uphill and then back down I was...giddy! Carol and I talked about the training we have experienced together, the love/hate emotions I feel for her during that process. Hate is too strong a word..more like extremely pissed off when she runs circles around me telling me to "pick up my pace". When she yells for me to stop and replenish with water and I yell back, "NO!!"..even though I am soo thirsty!!! :) It's like I turn into a little bratty kid not wanting to give my big sister the satisfaction in being right!! Yet, when we reach our goal, when we finish the run we set out to do, in the time frame we set for ourselves, I am SO IN LOVE with her all over again!! The beautiful part is that she simply "gets it, gets me". She takes no offense when I give her my look that says if I could catch my breath to speak, I'd cuss you out..she just smiles and keeps the pace. I have no other friend like her in my life at this time, she has been truly given to me from the Lord at the precise time I needed her..and she feels the same about me. The talks we have had as we have covered countless miles, hours upon hours together..our treasures to us. She has seen inside of me and I her..our friendship will last beyond trainer and trainee, for that I am so grateful.

Carol never had the chance to meet Skip, she and her family entered my life after Skip went home to glory. Her husband is the State Farm Agent who came to Maui to take over our business. To say that I had no interest in befriending this family is an understatement..and yet it was God's plan that we meet, live on the same street, have children the same age who attended the same school..and of course they started to come to my church. People that I did not want to love..I deeply do. That is the curiousness and the wisdom of our Lord..and a glimpse of His sense of humor!

My mind creates stories, circumstances with somewhat predictable endings. I daydream and write my thoughts down and marvel at the work of my Father as I write..yet true life matters, such as the friendship between a woman from Alaska and a woman with a shattered heart, sound more unbelievable than fiction..but couldn't be more true! That is the working of our Lord!

With that said, let me tell you a story about a woman who experienced a day that would change her life forever, never allowing her to go back to what was familiar or routine ever again. She took a step at a time and walked for 3 months in her daze only to discover her health was compromised. Since that time, she has trained for a Marathon she will run in 6 days, she has spoke at several Women's Events, she has won a writing scholarship to attend a Writer's Conference, she has traveled, taken a cruise, witnessed her daughter turn 16yrs old and get her drivers license, bought a house and has welcomed over 30 friends into her new home since moving in on February 1st. This "story" couldn't have been born from imagination...only from the working of her Lord...our Lord...our Majestic and loving Father!

I sit in wonder and awe..looking out at the ocean, knowing He formed it and my heart, each with tender thought and care.

Gotta Run!

Sunday, December 5, 2010

7 days!!!

Oh my goodness...7 days left!!!!

My nerves are on high alert..I haven't slept well in 2 nights. I am filled with so many emotions and such amazement that the time is here. I am determined to just show up and leave it all there at the race! Looking back on these past 11 months I see so much that I have experienced and learned..all cherished treasures that will stay with me as I continue to grow. It's true when I say that the 18 months that have passed since Skip going home to the Lord..truly..feel like 18 minutes in my heart.

I have spent alot of time praying, wondering and hoping.. that what I do, the decisions and choices I have made, make Skip proud. I have second guessed myself many a time, causing the "analysis paralysis" to settle in around me, leaving me spinning in uncertainty. Thankfully, I have learned that trusting the Lord, my discernment and good council has allowed me to do just fine. :) I have also learned that some poor decisions can also be the best life lessons for the future...even if they were painfully learned!

Tomorrow I will run 3-4 miles and keep it easy and at the pace that we have set. Mondays have tended to be rougher run days as we rest on the weekends and I seem to start slower and get in a groove somewhere in the middle. It's our "last" Monday before the race! :) My heart just did a flip and my inner voice just shouted "hallelujah"!!!

I'm still completely unsure what will become of my "running career" after the Marathon. I toy with the idea of having a big bon fire and throwing my running shoes and all my running clothes in and watching them go up in a blaze! Or...will I take a brake and lace up my running shoes up after the holidays?? Truly, I don't know. It'll be fun to find out! Maybe I'll go for a run in my FINISHER t-shirt!!! :) It's definitely gonna be a new favorite added to my everyday wardrobe!

I'm working on my Marathon IPOD playlist. I've already got some blood pumping, get up and go must haves like, "Eye of the Tiger", "Let's get it started", "I'm a Survivor" and some bopping worship music that has already carried me thru some difficult miles. Any suggestions???

Gotta Run!

Saturday, December 4, 2010

8 days to go!!

Today I was blessed with spending precious time with sweet sisters at a Christmas Tea. To be with dear friends who love with their eyes and hug you with arms that envelope you is a treasure to me. To look around a room filled with women who love the Lord, each other and me...regardless if we know each other or not..is a gift. :)

Alot of women today know me, "my story", and my countdown to the Marathon. To be engulfed in love without the need to say much is priceless. It made me think that a little piece of heaven may be like that...Surrounded in love, deep accepting love and have no need for long explanations for the tears that fall or for our hearts that are exposed yet do not leave us feeling vulnerable. Yes, heavenly!

Katie sat with me and was moved to tears as she felt herself steeped in memories of attending this same tea in years past. Attending this same tea while her Daddy served us in a starched white collared shirt and black slacks with other men in our church. Watching her, I could almost read her thoughts..my heart ached when we both reached for each others hands as we both braced ourselves during a strong wave of emotion. She's beautiful. She's brave. She's her Father's daughter. She's someone that I want to make proud of me.

Truthfully, I am learning and relearning that life can be hard. Life can be overwhelmingly hard...but that is where I reach the end of myself, and fall to my knees and ask for help. Running mile after mile has NOTHING to do with MY abilities or MY strength...it has EVERYTHING to do with my Father's desire to work in me. It's not about the glory I get in accomplishing this goal..it's more about Him revealing Himself in me as He leads me into each mile. Once I cross the Finish Line, it will definitely be an accomplishment, yet my inner Marathon will continue to require my participation and obedience to be yielded to His plan for me.

Tonight, His plan seems a little lonely. His plan feels uncertain and somewhat uncomfortable. The beauty in being His..is that how I FEEL is not what defines me. Trusting Him amidst the confusion, loneliness and ocean of uncertainty...does define me.

Lord, my heart is yours, take it, all of me..and make me worthy! Calm my fears Lord, allow the "noise" to wash away from my thoughts...leaving only You and what is true. 8 days!!!

Gotta Run!

Friday, December 3, 2010

9 days!!!!

We ran 6 miles this morning and it always amazes me how we mentally prepare our bodies for the goal of the day. Six didn't feel like 20 miles, but it left me breathing hard regardless. Today's run was my last distance one until race day. I will run 2-3 miles daily next week and rest Friday and Saturday before the big day. I notice that my thoughts continue to drift to the "big day" as I press on into the day I am in...it never is far from my thoughts and prayers. I know that I will have ALOT of time during the Marathon to think..but I know that my thoughts will touch upon crossing the Finish line and wishing I could fall into Skip's arms. It's not a thought that leaves me heavy feeling, but it is one that presses on my heart. To look into his eyes and have him wrap me in his arms, possibly carry me to a shady spot under a tree as he whispers over and over how proud he is of me. :) I know I will hear him that day! I like to imagine Skip at the right hand of our Father as they both look down on me and Skip saying, "Lord, can you believe her? I have tried to get her to exercise for YEARS!!!!..Now look at her go!" I see them both smiling and shaking their heads. :)

Today is a good day. I got my scan results back from my Dr and all looks good. My scans show that the cancer has not spread and remains in both of my lungs. I have a cough that has been persistent and he has prescribed additional medicine for me in hopes that it will sooth my cough in a months' time. If not, I will go back and do a Pet Scan. Bottom line, I am doing well and my body continues to respond to the medicine. Although there has been no shrinking...there has been no growth or spreading! This is praise and I am blessed.

My friends, to be writing about my health, about the upcoming Marathon, about my love for my husband who I miss dearly everyday....to have this outlet is a source of strength for me. Thank you for the sweet encouragement, the "you go girls" and the comments that let me know you are with me as I press on.

Continuing the countdown....knowing it's close...praying always that He will guide me into the next moments ahead.

Gotta Run!