Today I was blessed with spending precious time with sweet sisters at a Christmas Tea. To be with dear friends who love with their eyes and hug you with arms that envelope you is a treasure to me. To look around a room filled with women who love the Lord, each other and me...regardless if we know each other or not..is a gift. :)
Alot of women today know me, "my story", and my countdown to the Marathon. To be engulfed in love without the need to say much is priceless. It made me think that a little piece of heaven may be like that...Surrounded in love, deep accepting love and have no need for long explanations for the tears that fall or for our hearts that are exposed yet do not leave us feeling vulnerable. Yes, heavenly!
Katie sat with me and was moved to tears as she felt herself steeped in memories of attending this same tea in years past. Attending this same tea while her Daddy served us in a starched white collared shirt and black slacks with other men in our church. Watching her, I could almost read her thoughts..my heart ached when we both reached for each others hands as we both braced ourselves during a strong wave of emotion. She's beautiful. She's brave. She's her Father's daughter. She's someone that I want to make proud of me.
Truthfully, I am learning and relearning that life can be hard. Life can be overwhelmingly hard...but that is where I reach the end of myself, and fall to my knees and ask for help. Running mile after mile has NOTHING to do with MY abilities or MY strength...it has EVERYTHING to do with my Father's desire to work in me. It's not about the glory I get in accomplishing this goal..it's more about Him revealing Himself in me as He leads me into each mile. Once I cross the Finish Line, it will definitely be an accomplishment, yet my inner Marathon will continue to require my participation and obedience to be yielded to His plan for me.
Tonight, His plan seems a little lonely. His plan feels uncertain and somewhat uncomfortable. The beauty in being His..is that how I FEEL is not what defines me. Trusting Him amidst the confusion, loneliness and ocean of uncertainty...does define me.
Lord, my heart is yours, take it, all of me..and make me worthy! Calm my fears Lord, allow the "noise" to wash away from my thoughts...leaving only You and what is true. 8 days!!!
Gotta Run!
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