Today marks one year since my husband Skip was welcomed into the gates of heaven. The only way I can truly understand that a year has passed is by breaking down each month that has passed and remembering all that has happened. In my heart...it feels as if only moments have gone by since I looked into his handsome face and saw the twinkle in his gorgeous dreamy eyes, or returned his crooked smile.
As Katie and I have been spending precious time with Skip's family in California, gathering together for this marking of time, we all have been lavishing each other with love, comfort and prayers. Today however....Katie and I will take time for the two of us. We will spend today driving up the Pacific Coast Highway and being near the ocean that Skip surfed in as a young boy. The ocean has so many soothing and comforting effects. Not only does it represent Skip's passion of surfing, but it forever reminds us how BIG our God is! His plans included this day one year ago....a day that Skip was enjoying God's creation and the awesome waves he loved to surf. The Lord's plans also include our today....and I am trusting as He reveals to us how this day will unfold...we will see Him in His vast creation of blue surf, white wash, and golden sand. I can't help but think of the verse Psalm 139:17-18a, "How precious are your thoughts for me oh God, if I should count them, they would outnumber the sand!" This verse comforts me today.....giving me fresh hope and a reminder of how our Father loves us so! His best can take our breath away, confuse us, anger us, break us....but when we see thru His eyes, His best is better than life!
I have been writing this past year and truly feel it is His call for me, His way of allowing me to be obedient and share Him with others...I am following Him with a passion He kindles in me. If you think of me today, if thoughts of precious Katie come to your mind....please pray that as we follow Him and serve Him, that He will be all you see when you look at us....pray that He is bigger in us than ourselves.
Skip is where we all yearn to be....he is surfing in perfect waves that are never ending...he is worshiping at the right hand of our Father....Skip....is home.
My dearest Skip, thank you for teaching me so much in 23yrs. All that you taught me ables me to stand today without you by my side. You will forever be in my heart and my life is better, fuller, richer for loving you...and being lavished in your love!
Katie and I will drive down PCH today and marvel at the beauty of the ocean that holds so many memories....memories of yesterday....and amazing ones to come!
"Lord I'm amazed by You..and how you love me".
Gotta Run!
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Camp Wildwood
Hi Friends,
Katie and I are enjoying California and spending time with family and friends. The summer seems to have taken on a life of it's own, but I know it will be filled with love, laughter and treasured memories.
Katie is at camp this week. A camp that I went to when I was her age....or so I thought! Hume Lake is a camp area that holds precious memories for me as a kid. Memories of a beautiful lake, fun in the sun, swimming, beach volleyball, hiking, wonderful christian music and amazing and gifted speakers that touched all of our hearts. The total "mountain top" experience! I wanted Katie to have her own beautiful experience so I registered her for camp...while doing so I noticed that there was a Discipleship Camp for high schoolers that sounded awesome. It talked of getting deep into God's word and spending quality time with the Lord in a majestic setting. Perfect! Right?!.....
My in-laws and I drove Katie and her girlfriend Samantha to camp on Sunday morning, all of us excited for the week ahead for both the girls. I told both girls about my memories and funny stories of camp and the fun I had, sharing with them that they too would make wonderful memories to last a lifetime! As we drove up the mountain I noticed halfway up that Katie was silently crying as she sat next to me. I was surprised and asked her what was wrong....only to have her paint a fake smile on her face and say, "nothing, I'm ok". I hugged her and kissed her and snuggled her, all the while whispering in her ear, "please tell me what's wrong"...only to have her give me that fake smile again and shake her head. FINALLY, I asked her again and she whispered in my ear, "I miss you already. I haven't been away from you since Daddy went to heaven..." I hugged her closer and told her I would miss her too, but the week would be magical and when it was over she would have amazing stories to tell me. We arrived at Hume Lake and it was like the clock turned back 25yrs! I was pointing things out to the girls and telling them things like, "that's where we swam, you'll love it!"....."there's the snack shack, you can get hamburgers and hot dogs and watch the beach volleyball games"....."Oh! there's the General Store...that's where I bought my first "womanly products" and proudly carried my "woman items" up the hill for all to see!" They giggled with me and there eyes were big and excited as they saw all the kids everywhere and the beautiful surroundings.
We drove up to the gate and asked the young security assistant where Camp Wildwood was. (My mother in law was nudging the girls because the security assistant was a handsome teenage boy!) The girls were giggling and taking it all in. When we got directions to Wildwood we drove up the mountain...and kept driving....and kept driving...it seemed as if we were getting farther and farther away from people...cabins... and, gulp...fun. After making 2 trips up and down the hill with no luck finding our destination, we found a man near another campsite and told him we were lost. He said we weren't far and also added, "Usually the kids get dropped off at the bottom of the hill and hike up".....I laughed and said something like, "yeah, right..you're funny". Only...he wasn't laughing. "I'm serious, the kids usually hike up to Wildwood". Hmm. I tell him, "I'm not letting them hike anywhere that I haven't seen, so we will be driving them up to camp". He led us up the hill and guided us into a rural dirt road and pointed from his car window for us to continue ahead. We drove up to a camp area that had a few tables, a large tent that seemed to be the main gathering area and some kids walking around. Once we parked, I got out and was greeted by a young man who introduced himself as one of the counselors. The girls got out of the truck and we made introductions. We started taking out their gear...sleeping bags, suitcases, and a bag of all kinds of snacks we had loaded up for the girls. The young man said, "Oh, sorry, they can't have food in their tent...because it'll attract the bears". Hhmm..., "What? Are you kidding?" I say with a smile and a brave face directed at both the girls. "No, I'm serious, but we can keep the food in our kitchen area if you like". Katie steps towards me and takes the snack bag from my hands and puts it back in the truck, "that's okay mom, just take it home". It would have been fine, had I not seen that her eyes were once again filling with tears that were threatening to fall. What the heck have I done??!!! This WAS NOT my camp experience! "They don't sleep in cabins?" I ask. A young girl steps forward and points out the girls tent, which is a big tent for about 30 or so kids, and then points in the opposite direction towards the boys tent. Some kids step out of the big main tent about now and the girls wave to some friends as they recognize them from home. Kids come toward us and hug the girls and help them with their things. I'm relieved that the girls know some of the campers! I hug them both before leaving and I pray. I pray for safety, fun, sweet fellowship and God's love to be wrapped around them always. I kiss them both as they walk away with the other kids. I have to go back down the hill and register them. The minute I get back into the truck, big tears fall down my face and I am crying openly and asking my in-laws, "What did I just do?! These girls aren't juvenile delinquents, they are sweet kids starting a summer of fun!" When I reach the registration desk I ask one of the women if I could talk with her in private. I explain my camp memories and the year Katie has had, asking her if I have made some HUGE mistake. She smiles and assures me the girls will have a blast. She says the camp is smaller, more intimate and the kids really bond together during the week. She assures me that her daughter had attended the same camp before and truly was blessed... I proceed to ask another woman the same questions, only to get the same answers..the girls will have a great time.
I have been praying every hour on the hour since driving away from that camp. I KNOW the Lord has a beautiful plan for those girls....even if it is NOT what my plans were for them! He loves them more than I do, His plan for them included this week...just because it was surprising to me...doesn't mean it was to our Father. My trust in Him fills me as we drive back down the hill.
I am on a new schedule for running while I am in California, and Friday will be my first run day since arriving. I know that as my feet hit the pavement and I run the trail near the house.....my thoughts, prayers and heart will be filled with those girls! "Lord, I give them to You, they have always been Yours. If it is Your will......PLEASE, please, please....let it be an amazing, magical time for all the campers in Camp Wildwood!!!"
Once again, nothing seems to go as I envisioned...this year has been filled with lessons learned, mountains to climb, hurdles to jump......and now, a camp experience that left me feeling like I drove the girls thru Disneyland without stopping...only to drop them off in Alcatraz!! I can't wait to hear about!
Gotta Run!
Katie and I are enjoying California and spending time with family and friends. The summer seems to have taken on a life of it's own, but I know it will be filled with love, laughter and treasured memories.
Katie is at camp this week. A camp that I went to when I was her age....or so I thought! Hume Lake is a camp area that holds precious memories for me as a kid. Memories of a beautiful lake, fun in the sun, swimming, beach volleyball, hiking, wonderful christian music and amazing and gifted speakers that touched all of our hearts. The total "mountain top" experience! I wanted Katie to have her own beautiful experience so I registered her for camp...while doing so I noticed that there was a Discipleship Camp for high schoolers that sounded awesome. It talked of getting deep into God's word and spending quality time with the Lord in a majestic setting. Perfect! Right?!.....
My in-laws and I drove Katie and her girlfriend Samantha to camp on Sunday morning, all of us excited for the week ahead for both the girls. I told both girls about my memories and funny stories of camp and the fun I had, sharing with them that they too would make wonderful memories to last a lifetime! As we drove up the mountain I noticed halfway up that Katie was silently crying as she sat next to me. I was surprised and asked her what was wrong....only to have her paint a fake smile on her face and say, "nothing, I'm ok". I hugged her and kissed her and snuggled her, all the while whispering in her ear, "please tell me what's wrong"...only to have her give me that fake smile again and shake her head. FINALLY, I asked her again and she whispered in my ear, "I miss you already. I haven't been away from you since Daddy went to heaven..." I hugged her closer and told her I would miss her too, but the week would be magical and when it was over she would have amazing stories to tell me. We arrived at Hume Lake and it was like the clock turned back 25yrs! I was pointing things out to the girls and telling them things like, "that's where we swam, you'll love it!"....."there's the snack shack, you can get hamburgers and hot dogs and watch the beach volleyball games"....."Oh! there's the General Store...that's where I bought my first "womanly products" and proudly carried my "woman items" up the hill for all to see!" They giggled with me and there eyes were big and excited as they saw all the kids everywhere and the beautiful surroundings.
We drove up to the gate and asked the young security assistant where Camp Wildwood was. (My mother in law was nudging the girls because the security assistant was a handsome teenage boy!) The girls were giggling and taking it all in. When we got directions to Wildwood we drove up the mountain...and kept driving....and kept driving...it seemed as if we were getting farther and farther away from people...cabins... and, gulp...fun. After making 2 trips up and down the hill with no luck finding our destination, we found a man near another campsite and told him we were lost. He said we weren't far and also added, "Usually the kids get dropped off at the bottom of the hill and hike up".....I laughed and said something like, "yeah, right..you're funny". Only...he wasn't laughing. "I'm serious, the kids usually hike up to Wildwood". Hmm. I tell him, "I'm not letting them hike anywhere that I haven't seen, so we will be driving them up to camp". He led us up the hill and guided us into a rural dirt road and pointed from his car window for us to continue ahead. We drove up to a camp area that had a few tables, a large tent that seemed to be the main gathering area and some kids walking around. Once we parked, I got out and was greeted by a young man who introduced himself as one of the counselors. The girls got out of the truck and we made introductions. We started taking out their gear...sleeping bags, suitcases, and a bag of all kinds of snacks we had loaded up for the girls. The young man said, "Oh, sorry, they can't have food in their tent...because it'll attract the bears". Hhmm..., "What? Are you kidding?" I say with a smile and a brave face directed at both the girls. "No, I'm serious, but we can keep the food in our kitchen area if you like". Katie steps towards me and takes the snack bag from my hands and puts it back in the truck, "that's okay mom, just take it home". It would have been fine, had I not seen that her eyes were once again filling with tears that were threatening to fall. What the heck have I done??!!! This WAS NOT my camp experience! "They don't sleep in cabins?" I ask. A young girl steps forward and points out the girls tent, which is a big tent for about 30 or so kids, and then points in the opposite direction towards the boys tent. Some kids step out of the big main tent about now and the girls wave to some friends as they recognize them from home. Kids come toward us and hug the girls and help them with their things. I'm relieved that the girls know some of the campers! I hug them both before leaving and I pray. I pray for safety, fun, sweet fellowship and God's love to be wrapped around them always. I kiss them both as they walk away with the other kids. I have to go back down the hill and register them. The minute I get back into the truck, big tears fall down my face and I am crying openly and asking my in-laws, "What did I just do?! These girls aren't juvenile delinquents, they are sweet kids starting a summer of fun!" When I reach the registration desk I ask one of the women if I could talk with her in private. I explain my camp memories and the year Katie has had, asking her if I have made some HUGE mistake. She smiles and assures me the girls will have a blast. She says the camp is smaller, more intimate and the kids really bond together during the week. She assures me that her daughter had attended the same camp before and truly was blessed... I proceed to ask another woman the same questions, only to get the same answers..the girls will have a great time.
I have been praying every hour on the hour since driving away from that camp. I KNOW the Lord has a beautiful plan for those girls....even if it is NOT what my plans were for them! He loves them more than I do, His plan for them included this week...just because it was surprising to me...doesn't mean it was to our Father. My trust in Him fills me as we drive back down the hill.
I am on a new schedule for running while I am in California, and Friday will be my first run day since arriving. I know that as my feet hit the pavement and I run the trail near the house.....my thoughts, prayers and heart will be filled with those girls! "Lord, I give them to You, they have always been Yours. If it is Your will......PLEASE, please, please....let it be an amazing, magical time for all the campers in Camp Wildwood!!!"
Once again, nothing seems to go as I envisioned...this year has been filled with lessons learned, mountains to climb, hurdles to jump......and now, a camp experience that left me feeling like I drove the girls thru Disneyland without stopping...only to drop them off in Alcatraz!! I can't wait to hear about!
Gotta Run!
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Summer
We are on the verge of traveling to California for the summer. We have a summer full of exciting plans, time with friends and family, and also some rich individual time with the Lord. Katie will actually be attending a youth Christian camp that I attended when I was her age. To imagine her there, being where I was at her age and making her own special memories at such a special place...seems like watching something come full circle. A circle that was and is being drawn by our Heavenly Father. The glimpses He gives us of His master plan is both humbling and breathtaking.
My running has continued to improve, and I am so excited to report that on Friday, our long run day, I actually RAN over 5 and a half miles!!! That is to date my longest run without stopping!! It felt amazing!
While we are on vacation, my constant prayer will be that I discipline myself to continue to run daily...even without Carol by my side! This is a huge weakness of mine, so your prayers added to mine would be much appreciated! I am going to look into seeing if there are any 5k's or 10k's in the area we will be staying in just so I can keep my focus on training.
Although my life looks nothing like it did less than a year ago....I am continually learning that our Lord knew long ago what I am only discovering daily.....His purpose will be fulfilled and His plans for all of us will be revealed in His timing.
As I get ready to call it a day, and settle in for the night....I can't help but to stop....be still....close my eyes...and say, "Lord, thank you for loving me, being bigger than what appears overwhelming...and for knowing how the journey will end, before it ever began...that knowledge is my strength, thank you..thank you...thank you!"
Gotta Run!
My running has continued to improve, and I am so excited to report that on Friday, our long run day, I actually RAN over 5 and a half miles!!! That is to date my longest run without stopping!! It felt amazing!
While we are on vacation, my constant prayer will be that I discipline myself to continue to run daily...even without Carol by my side! This is a huge weakness of mine, so your prayers added to mine would be much appreciated! I am going to look into seeing if there are any 5k's or 10k's in the area we will be staying in just so I can keep my focus on training.
Although my life looks nothing like it did less than a year ago....I am continually learning that our Lord knew long ago what I am only discovering daily.....His purpose will be fulfilled and His plans for all of us will be revealed in His timing.
As I get ready to call it a day, and settle in for the night....I can't help but to stop....be still....close my eyes...and say, "Lord, thank you for loving me, being bigger than what appears overwhelming...and for knowing how the journey will end, before it ever began...that knowledge is my strength, thank you..thank you...thank you!"
Gotta Run!
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