So....I did it, I went to my first dance...and I LOVED it!! The excitement of the run kept me up last night, but it was useless to sleep as my mind was doing it's own racing! Who am I?? I laid in bed last night and wondered just that...
As for us all, the answer to that question can be different depending on our view at the moment. Last night, I was Skip's wife, a woman trying to live out loud and give her daughter some tangible hope amidst the chaos we have been navigating thru lately. I am also a daughter of the King, who trusts with every fiber of my being that He is directing my steps...no matter how awkward, no matter how hesitant...He moves me.
The 5k today was set oceanfront, our view was gorgeous and strengthening...in spite of all the different emotions that seemed to ebb and flow as we covered mile after mile...the ocean was steady...unchanging....constant. Regardless if I looked at it with excited eyes, or while taking gasping breaths, or when I jumped into it after finishing the 5k....it was constant. That simple fact brings great comfort to me..and today was no exception...our Father who created that vast ocean is my constant...refuge.
When I think I can't take another step, when the boxes I am packing to move to our new home seem too many and never ending...and filled with our life from another time...I take a deep breath of the air that sustains me. I put on my running shoes, I drive Katie to her activities, I fill my prescriptions, I read God's words and cling to His promises... and I remember that even when I don't know what's next...I can rest in the comfort of His constant provisions...that are more vast than the ocean!
Although my time of 43.08 was not record shattering to say the least, it was a start to this journey that I am excited to be apart of. There were Marathon runners there today that completed 26 miles in 90 minutes! People of all ages, young to young at heart were present and accounted for. So, rather than set my alarm for 8am and roll out of bed in time for a sip of coffee before church.....I got up at 5:30am and....showed up and danced!
Gotta Run!
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Moving...
As I sit amongst boxes that are waiting to be filled, I am realizing that I must make the best use of my energy today and always. My life these last 6 months has been unrecognizable to me....and in some ways I am not familiar with myself and some of my own responses to my reality.
Tonight Katie and I shared heart moments together that were born from pain, sorrows and the ugliness of our own hearts. I treasure our time and am thankful for the moments together....and as I sat across from her and looked into her eyes, I couldn't help but be awed by her...when did she grow up? Lord, her hands are so tiny...baby hands....please hold them in yours...
I have heard that our character is revealed rather than defined in our trials....I continue to pray that what is revealed in us is more of Him....and less of us.
I have pressed on in my training and have walked 2-3 miles a day and have faced the fact that at this point...my reality is...I can jog for a continuous...6 minutes. Ouch...reality sucks. :) So, I will walk and jog into next week and share my successes and failures, hoping that..combined, both will assist me with the journey I trust I am equipped to walk and jog into daily.
I will be writing weekly with my updates and am thankful for any and all comments, whether they are encouraging or just plain good ol' smack talk.....both touch my heart and make me smile!
Gotta Run!
Tonight Katie and I shared heart moments together that were born from pain, sorrows and the ugliness of our own hearts. I treasure our time and am thankful for the moments together....and as I sat across from her and looked into her eyes, I couldn't help but be awed by her...when did she grow up? Lord, her hands are so tiny...baby hands....please hold them in yours...
I have heard that our character is revealed rather than defined in our trials....I continue to pray that what is revealed in us is more of Him....and less of us.
I have pressed on in my training and have walked 2-3 miles a day and have faced the fact that at this point...my reality is...I can jog for a continuous...6 minutes. Ouch...reality sucks. :) So, I will walk and jog into next week and share my successes and failures, hoping that..combined, both will assist me with the journey I trust I am equipped to walk and jog into daily.
I will be writing weekly with my updates and am thankful for any and all comments, whether they are encouraging or just plain good ol' smack talk.....both touch my heart and make me smile!
Gotta Run!
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Psalm 18:32-36
Psalm 18:32-36
32 It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect.
12 days....I started walking/jogging 12 days ago! The Lord has given me His strength for most of my life....in this endeavor to run this Marathon..the Lord has SHOWN His strength in me these last 12 days. I have no illusions, my abilities that have grown from 3x around the track...to 15 as of today..is only Him. That improvement is empowering and I look forward to so much more as I walk/jog this journey with Him beside me.
33 He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights.
I'm thinking of writing this verse on my shoes.....maybe I will run faster with God's words literally lifting me up!!!! There is always such a "Christmas morning best present" feeling when you come across a verse that speaks to you so personally at just the time you needed to know that TODAY....was already known to Him! Thank you Lord for making me important to You!
34 He trains my hands for battle; my arms can bend a bow of bronze.
I huffed and puffed with every lifting of those puny 3 pound weights...and they just got heavier and heavier!!! Lord, allow me to truly grow physically stronger as I press on and grasp a deeper understanding of what You are preparing me for!
35 You give me your shield of victory, and your right hand sustains me; you stoop down to make me great.
Father, I envision You beside me every step I take...I know my life is not this Marathon....yet You provide protection for me while I strive for it...this goal that seems ridiculously insane....yet has truly given me something tangible to share with Katie as she watches my progress. When I am empty...emotionally tapped, physically exhausted....I feel You stoop down near me...wipe the tears from my face....pick me up and yes.....make ME, absolutely nothing....GREAT in my daughter's eyes!
36 You broaden the path beneath me, so that my ankles do not turn.
Because You planted this desire in my heart...this desire to run.....You and only You can broaden the path beneath me. Lord, please let Your strength, when You decide I need it, to NOT allow my ankles to turn....You are my strength!
Today was a day filled with errands and list checking.....yet I wanted to recap as I needed a little perspective about where I am and where I am going. 12 days...12 days of walking, jogging, breathing, eating healthier, drinking water rather than coke...12 days of sheer horrific fear regarding my deepest thoughts about this goal! I needed a clearer perspective in order to appreciate where I began.
I constantly want to share these moments with Skip..to turn to him and smile and wink and say, "Babe, can you believe what I'm doing??!!"....he's always with me, and I do feel him....and I am thankful for that. It is a gift to have been so deeply loved...not perfect love, but deeply loved..and I pray what I do...what I say...what I write...will be my gift back to the Lord for loving me so lavishly that He chose such a partner for me.....
Gotta Run!
32 It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect.
12 days....I started walking/jogging 12 days ago! The Lord has given me His strength for most of my life....in this endeavor to run this Marathon..the Lord has SHOWN His strength in me these last 12 days. I have no illusions, my abilities that have grown from 3x around the track...to 15 as of today..is only Him. That improvement is empowering and I look forward to so much more as I walk/jog this journey with Him beside me.
33 He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights.
I'm thinking of writing this verse on my shoes.....maybe I will run faster with God's words literally lifting me up!!!! There is always such a "Christmas morning best present" feeling when you come across a verse that speaks to you so personally at just the time you needed to know that TODAY....was already known to Him! Thank you Lord for making me important to You!
34 He trains my hands for battle; my arms can bend a bow of bronze.
I huffed and puffed with every lifting of those puny 3 pound weights...and they just got heavier and heavier!!! Lord, allow me to truly grow physically stronger as I press on and grasp a deeper understanding of what You are preparing me for!
35 You give me your shield of victory, and your right hand sustains me; you stoop down to make me great.
Father, I envision You beside me every step I take...I know my life is not this Marathon....yet You provide protection for me while I strive for it...this goal that seems ridiculously insane....yet has truly given me something tangible to share with Katie as she watches my progress. When I am empty...emotionally tapped, physically exhausted....I feel You stoop down near me...wipe the tears from my face....pick me up and yes.....make ME, absolutely nothing....GREAT in my daughter's eyes!
36 You broaden the path beneath me, so that my ankles do not turn.
Because You planted this desire in my heart...this desire to run.....You and only You can broaden the path beneath me. Lord, please let Your strength, when You decide I need it, to NOT allow my ankles to turn....You are my strength!
Today was a day filled with errands and list checking.....yet I wanted to recap as I needed a little perspective about where I am and where I am going. 12 days...12 days of walking, jogging, breathing, eating healthier, drinking water rather than coke...12 days of sheer horrific fear regarding my deepest thoughts about this goal! I needed a clearer perspective in order to appreciate where I began.
I constantly want to share these moments with Skip..to turn to him and smile and wink and say, "Babe, can you believe what I'm doing??!!"....he's always with me, and I do feel him....and I am thankful for that. It is a gift to have been so deeply loved...not perfect love, but deeply loved..and I pray what I do...what I say...what I write...will be my gift back to the Lord for loving me so lavishly that He chose such a partner for me.....
Gotta Run!
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Uphill....
Wow, hills are humbling!!!! Carol and I went walking today for 2 miles and 1 mile was uphill. Ohmygosh......I felt it in every muscle as I pressed onward and upward. Carol called it a subtle incline....and I gave her a "look" that said, "friend, seriously?!"... :) Taking our time, we focused on my arms and keeping them loose, making sure that my walking form, posture, breathing were good, trying to not create and keep bad habits. Truly, all that sounds good....but the bottom line seems to be to just keep moving!!
When we finally turned to come down I got the best reward ever.....an amazing view of the blues of the ocean....so breathtaking! Walking downhill looking at the ocean and seeing God's beauty and BIGNESS was awesome. The fact that we were walking in my new neighborhood was also special. In just a few weeks, we will be living in our new home and I will be able to sit on my lanai and watch the whales breech and splash and be mesmerized by the vastness of the ocean, such a special calming scene. Today, as my cousin was working on the house, taking the carpet out and laying hardwood floors, I sat on the lanai and could feel Skip beside me. He would have loved this house....our home. Katie and I look forward to unpacking our family pictures and paintings and surrounding ourselves with our special memories. As we look to the Lord for guidance and clarity, we know He moves us into each day, allowing us to make new memories that touch the deepest part of our hearts.
I read My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers every morning as one of my devotionals. Today's and yesterday's were about being alone with God....allowing Him access to our soul when we take the time to be alone with Him, giving Him our lives once again and listening.....being still....sitting quietly, waiting to receive His hearts purpose for us. As I was praying on my lanai, looking out into the ocean, I felt the Lord blowing across my face, enveloping me in His comfort, letting me know that I am home.....and He is beside me always. Always. Always. Always. Thank you for that comfort! So, uphill we go! steady breathing...left foot, right foot.... We also did some weight lifting.....apparently 3 lbs weights are sufficient for this chick!! :) It's all good....today 3 pounds......tomorrow...well, tomorrow...another hill!!!
Gotta Run!
When we finally turned to come down I got the best reward ever.....an amazing view of the blues of the ocean....so breathtaking! Walking downhill looking at the ocean and seeing God's beauty and BIGNESS was awesome. The fact that we were walking in my new neighborhood was also special. In just a few weeks, we will be living in our new home and I will be able to sit on my lanai and watch the whales breech and splash and be mesmerized by the vastness of the ocean, such a special calming scene. Today, as my cousin was working on the house, taking the carpet out and laying hardwood floors, I sat on the lanai and could feel Skip beside me. He would have loved this house....our home. Katie and I look forward to unpacking our family pictures and paintings and surrounding ourselves with our special memories. As we look to the Lord for guidance and clarity, we know He moves us into each day, allowing us to make new memories that touch the deepest part of our hearts.
I read My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers every morning as one of my devotionals. Today's and yesterday's were about being alone with God....allowing Him access to our soul when we take the time to be alone with Him, giving Him our lives once again and listening.....being still....sitting quietly, waiting to receive His hearts purpose for us. As I was praying on my lanai, looking out into the ocean, I felt the Lord blowing across my face, enveloping me in His comfort, letting me know that I am home.....and He is beside me always. Always. Always. Always. Thank you for that comfort! So, uphill we go! steady breathing...left foot, right foot.... We also did some weight lifting.....apparently 3 lbs weights are sufficient for this chick!! :) It's all good....today 3 pounds......tomorrow...well, tomorrow...another hill!!!
Gotta Run!
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Making Strides!
Today my friend, my sister in Christ, My Trainer...Carol, came over and walked with me to get a good picture of where I am and what kind of training I should be doing at this time. We just went to my walking path and she matched her pace with mine and set her watch timer..and we were off! At first I was nervous, thinking..."Uh oh, now she's REALLY gonna see what a poser I am"!! We pressed on and kept walking at a pace that felt comfortable and allowed me to talk with her while walking. The amazing thing is this...Yesterday I walked 3 miles in 2 hours. Broken down, that's 40 minutes per mile!! Uhh, yeah...with that rate, I would finish the Marathon in about 17 hours!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid said what??!! :) Yikes!
With Carol walking beside me today and keeping me at a pace that was comfortable...I was able to walk a mile and a half in 28 minutes. This equals finishing the Marathon in 9 hours and 27 minutes!! Amazing! Don't get me wrong...that time is NOT amazing. The part that gets me stoked, is that I am in the beginning stages of my training...so I am bound to improve!!! The difference in my timing from yesterday to today..with just pushing myself a little more..is AMAZING to me!!!
The goal we set for the next month is for me to be able to walk or jog a mile in about 15 minutes....that's the goal. I also am going to TRY to jog for 30 minutes straight.....not focusing on the distance at this point, but focusing more on my ability to jog for that period of time, allowing me to build endurance.
Today I experienced a new understanding of this journey. Improvement..at any level, gives me a huge rush!!! :) I felt good about walking a 21 minute mile. I felt good about setting a goal to cut it to closer to 15 minutes. I even felt good about agreeing to work at being able to jog for 30 minutes. And yes....I FEEL good about making strides!!
Right now, making strides and recognizing them is HUGE! As I continue to trust in the Lord and look to Him for guidance and discernment, I am humbled by His equipping and timing....bringing Carol into my life now, opening my mind up to what seem to be impossibilities...saying "I can" rather than "I cannot". Today I felt like I was thumbing my nose at all things that suck...and embracing this challenge that scares me to death!!! :) I'm not kidding myself...I know I have my work cut out for me, and there is alot ahead that I still don't even understand....yet today's improvement pumped me up and gave me renewed hope. Pray for my dear friend Carol....she truly has her work cut out for her!! :)
I will look back on today when my body aches...and I hate my shoes...and I don't have the desire to walk/jog.......and prayerfully this small feeling of growing excitement will fire me up and drive me on!
After walking today, I put my shoes, my new friends, away and replaced them with my slippers. I changed back into my shorts and shirt and put my running clothes in the washer. I then...went to the Refuse Center and placed an order for new rubbish cans for our new home....went to the cable company and made an appointment for the Cable guy to come out on Thursday to hook up service...called the car dealer to get my Mini Cooper into the shop for service... attended a meeting at Katie's school...then came home and walked another mile. Yep, making strides!!! :)
I'm looking up Lord, and I thank you for loving me, seeing me, claiming me!!
Gotta Run!
With Carol walking beside me today and keeping me at a pace that was comfortable...I was able to walk a mile and a half in 28 minutes. This equals finishing the Marathon in 9 hours and 27 minutes!! Amazing! Don't get me wrong...that time is NOT amazing. The part that gets me stoked, is that I am in the beginning stages of my training...so I am bound to improve!!! The difference in my timing from yesterday to today..with just pushing myself a little more..is AMAZING to me!!!
The goal we set for the next month is for me to be able to walk or jog a mile in about 15 minutes....that's the goal. I also am going to TRY to jog for 30 minutes straight.....not focusing on the distance at this point, but focusing more on my ability to jog for that period of time, allowing me to build endurance.
Today I experienced a new understanding of this journey. Improvement..at any level, gives me a huge rush!!! :) I felt good about walking a 21 minute mile. I felt good about setting a goal to cut it to closer to 15 minutes. I even felt good about agreeing to work at being able to jog for 30 minutes. And yes....I FEEL good about making strides!!
Right now, making strides and recognizing them is HUGE! As I continue to trust in the Lord and look to Him for guidance and discernment, I am humbled by His equipping and timing....bringing Carol into my life now, opening my mind up to what seem to be impossibilities...saying "I can" rather than "I cannot". Today I felt like I was thumbing my nose at all things that suck...and embracing this challenge that scares me to death!!! :) I'm not kidding myself...I know I have my work cut out for me, and there is alot ahead that I still don't even understand....yet today's improvement pumped me up and gave me renewed hope. Pray for my dear friend Carol....she truly has her work cut out for her!! :)
I will look back on today when my body aches...and I hate my shoes...and I don't have the desire to walk/jog.......and prayerfully this small feeling of growing excitement will fire me up and drive me on!
After walking today, I put my shoes, my new friends, away and replaced them with my slippers. I changed back into my shorts and shirt and put my running clothes in the washer. I then...went to the Refuse Center and placed an order for new rubbish cans for our new home....went to the cable company and made an appointment for the Cable guy to come out on Thursday to hook up service...called the car dealer to get my Mini Cooper into the shop for service... attended a meeting at Katie's school...then came home and walked another mile. Yep, making strides!!! :)
I'm looking up Lord, and I thank you for loving me, seeing me, claiming me!!
Gotta Run!
Monday, January 11, 2010
3 miles
Katie and I spent the weekend on Oahu and enjoyed spending time with family and friends. We went to a wedding while we were there.....my 1st since June. My 1st without Skip by my side. I had automatically said we would go, not thinking too much about it. As it drew nearer a dear friend asked me if I had any concerns about going, and if I did...I shouldn't feel obligated. It was deeply touching that a child of God would look out for my heart in such a tender way. I was told that I was the priority... to be honest, that confident statement directed at me, intended to wrap me up in love, did just that. It also gave me a true glimpse into how God's love, when given lavishly, is limitless.
I did go to the wedding, it was beautiful and perfect and right. The Bride was glowing and breathtaking as she smiled all night long...the Groom was strong and handsome, and seemed to grow into more of a confident Man with every passing minute, right before our eyes.
It did take me back 18yrs...and I was lost in a memory that I will cherish forever. Skip and I were standing together before the Pastor and we looked into each other's eyes for the first time....and for that moment...before we shared our vows....there was no one else in the room, just 2 young kids with no idea of what the future was to hold. With excitement and fear we promised ourselves to each other, and walked together. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat...ALL of it..pain, sorrow, grief, joy, passion, contentment and love..the journey was so worth it all! I am and will forever be thankful to our Lord for that love..... Cherish one another my friends, love lavishly!
I did experience a few moments of heartache thru out the night, but with a little help from my friends, those moments passed and laughter filled my lungs. Katie had a teary moment as just before we were leaving, they began the Father and daughter dance...the exact dance I was trying to avoid... She was rocked for a few moments and excused herself and asked to be alone. Ugh....all I wanted to do was run after her and fold her into my arms... but the Lord met her where she was at, and soon she emerged with glistening eyes and a smile on her face as she walked towards me. We held hands and looked into each others eyes and said nothing...and every word that went unspoken was heard by the both of us...and that was enough.
Today my goal was to walk 20x around the reservoir..that would equal 5 miles. My reality was I managed to walk around 12x. I began walking at 4:45pm and finished at 6:30. 2 hours..... I am content with the 3 miles today, it gave me a glimpse into the 5k coming at the end of this month. I now know I CAN walk 3 miles......and that is enough for me today. Kuuipo walked beside me and was a good sport as her dinner was late! :) We both entered the house ready for some nourishment and water.
I reached down and rubbed her ears and she immediately rolled onto her back and gave me full access to rub her belly....My opportunity to love lavishly! "Good girl, 'Po, we did it"!
Gotta Run!
I did go to the wedding, it was beautiful and perfect and right. The Bride was glowing and breathtaking as she smiled all night long...the Groom was strong and handsome, and seemed to grow into more of a confident Man with every passing minute, right before our eyes.
It did take me back 18yrs...and I was lost in a memory that I will cherish forever. Skip and I were standing together before the Pastor and we looked into each other's eyes for the first time....and for that moment...before we shared our vows....there was no one else in the room, just 2 young kids with no idea of what the future was to hold. With excitement and fear we promised ourselves to each other, and walked together. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat...ALL of it..pain, sorrow, grief, joy, passion, contentment and love..the journey was so worth it all! I am and will forever be thankful to our Lord for that love..... Cherish one another my friends, love lavishly!
I did experience a few moments of heartache thru out the night, but with a little help from my friends, those moments passed and laughter filled my lungs. Katie had a teary moment as just before we were leaving, they began the Father and daughter dance...the exact dance I was trying to avoid... She was rocked for a few moments and excused herself and asked to be alone. Ugh....all I wanted to do was run after her and fold her into my arms... but the Lord met her where she was at, and soon she emerged with glistening eyes and a smile on her face as she walked towards me. We held hands and looked into each others eyes and said nothing...and every word that went unspoken was heard by the both of us...and that was enough.
Today my goal was to walk 20x around the reservoir..that would equal 5 miles. My reality was I managed to walk around 12x. I began walking at 4:45pm and finished at 6:30. 2 hours..... I am content with the 3 miles today, it gave me a glimpse into the 5k coming at the end of this month. I now know I CAN walk 3 miles......and that is enough for me today. Kuuipo walked beside me and was a good sport as her dinner was late! :) We both entered the house ready for some nourishment and water.
I reached down and rubbed her ears and she immediately rolled onto her back and gave me full access to rub her belly....My opportunity to love lavishly! "Good girl, 'Po, we did it"!
Gotta Run!
Friday, January 8, 2010
Registered!
I took a bite out of the "whole enchilada" today and registered for my 1st Run. It's a Marathon on Maui, but it has several runs you could do in the Marathon.....so, I picked the 5k!!! It's a walk/run that is oceanfront, so if anything, I'll take a nice walk/jog and get beautiful scenery too! :) This should help with getting my feet a little wet and giving me a tiny piece of understanding of things to come. It's on 1/24/2010, so in 2 weeks!! Lord, calm my heart as this poser runner/walker/jogger goes to her first dance!! :)
I walked a mile and jogged a mile today....still doing the 2 lapse of walking then 1 lap of jogging...but the point is I did it. I don't think anyone is more surprised than me, yet each time I get my shoes on and have that beautiful music playing in my ears.....combined with the music my feet are slowly making.....something happens to me. Yes......exhaustion, nausea, perspiration......but there is also a glimmer of.....peace..relaxation...hope...and yes,..calm. Thoughts that keep me up at night start to fall away as I look around me and notice the beauty of the sky, the smell of the flowers as I pass, making yet another lap...and the happiness in Kuuipo's eyes as she trots with me....or even slowly walks when I do. She misses Skip too...she was also one of "Skip's girls", along with Katie and I. Our relationship, mine and Kuuipo's is a new development....I always tolerated her...she was his dog, I just shared space with her. :) When I could look past my hurts, I noticed her sad expression and realized she too was confused. The first time I reached down to pet her, she gave me a look that pretty much said..."She's petting me? Something is definitely off..". Slowly, we have become friends, I rub her ears, her belly and I talk with her, letting her know we will figure it out together. Now, she goes to bed when I do...gets up from where she lays when I get up..greets me at the door when I come home...she has accepted me as her back-up. I am slowly opening my heart to this dog that..only a few months ago, was just something that I walked over or muttered about as I vacuumed up all her hair!
So, it was only right that my 1st picture of me in my running duds....included my running partner, my new friend. "I'll love you the best I can 'Po, I miss him too"!
Gotta Run!
I walked a mile and jogged a mile today....still doing the 2 lapse of walking then 1 lap of jogging...but the point is I did it. I don't think anyone is more surprised than me, yet each time I get my shoes on and have that beautiful music playing in my ears.....combined with the music my feet are slowly making.....something happens to me. Yes......exhaustion, nausea, perspiration......but there is also a glimmer of.....peace..relaxation...hope...and yes,..calm. Thoughts that keep me up at night start to fall away as I look around me and notice the beauty of the sky, the smell of the flowers as I pass, making yet another lap...and the happiness in Kuuipo's eyes as she trots with me....or even slowly walks when I do. She misses Skip too...she was also one of "Skip's girls", along with Katie and I. Our relationship, mine and Kuuipo's is a new development....I always tolerated her...she was his dog, I just shared space with her. :) When I could look past my hurts, I noticed her sad expression and realized she too was confused. The first time I reached down to pet her, she gave me a look that pretty much said..."She's petting me? Something is definitely off..". Slowly, we have become friends, I rub her ears, her belly and I talk with her, letting her know we will figure it out together. Now, she goes to bed when I do...gets up from where she lays when I get up..greets me at the door when I come home...she has accepted me as her back-up. I am slowly opening my heart to this dog that..only a few months ago, was just something that I walked over or muttered about as I vacuumed up all her hair!
So, it was only right that my 1st picture of me in my running duds....included my running partner, my new friend. "I'll love you the best I can 'Po, I miss him too"!
Gotta Run!
Rainy Day
Today was a "free day"....good thing because it poured most of the day on Maui....gray clouds, wind, and steady rain. Sometimes I am surprised at how my emotions can mirror the weather report...I woke today with a heaviness in my heart that I couldn't shake, my own storm was brewing.
While daily driving Katie to school, we pray on the way...maybe for an upcoming test, my health, friends in pain, our economy.....and we usually end with, "Lord, please allow us to bring you glory in all that we say and do". Before leaving the house or after, I spend time with the Lord and read my devotionals. Today's was rich as usual, and spoke of the intimacy we should strive for in our daily relationship with the Lord. "The Christian who is truly intimate with Jesus will never draw attention to himself but will only show the evidence of a life where Jesus is completely in control. This is the outcome of allowing Jesus to satisfy every area of life to its depth. The picture resulting from such a life is that of the strong, calm balance that our Lord gives to those who are intimate with Him".
Oh....how I long for that calm balance! Even when armed with His word, my emotions matched the steady rain beating down on my windows. Tears streamed down my face as I was struck with a wave of longing for my husband Skip so jarring that it caused me physical pain. To have him beside me would surely bring me that calm balance I was seeking! However, our Lord's plans called Skip home, plans that include me to remain here.. As I walk into His adventure, I am learning that the intimacy comes from living for Him and allowing myself to see past my pain into His eyes that reflect the calm I seek and the balance I desire.
I have been asked to speak at my church and share some of my testimony, not to share my strength....but His in me. My cough concerns me when I am asked to speak....your prayers are appreciated as I don't want to distract anyone from His glory. The passage that will be the message to go with my testimony is:
1 Peter 1:3-9 : 3Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, 5who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. 6In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 8Though you have not seen Him, you love Him; and even though you do not see Him now, you believe in Him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, 9for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.
Father, as today's gloomy forecast was truly a mirroring of my own heart, I am looking forward to the following lyrics to a song to be my true reflection......
"But now I'm sunny with a High of 75, since You took my heavy heart and made it light..and its funny how you find you enjoy your life when you're happy to be alive".
Gotta Run!
While daily driving Katie to school, we pray on the way...maybe for an upcoming test, my health, friends in pain, our economy.....and we usually end with, "Lord, please allow us to bring you glory in all that we say and do". Before leaving the house or after, I spend time with the Lord and read my devotionals. Today's was rich as usual, and spoke of the intimacy we should strive for in our daily relationship with the Lord. "The Christian who is truly intimate with Jesus will never draw attention to himself but will only show the evidence of a life where Jesus is completely in control. This is the outcome of allowing Jesus to satisfy every area of life to its depth. The picture resulting from such a life is that of the strong, calm balance that our Lord gives to those who are intimate with Him".
Oh....how I long for that calm balance! Even when armed with His word, my emotions matched the steady rain beating down on my windows. Tears streamed down my face as I was struck with a wave of longing for my husband Skip so jarring that it caused me physical pain. To have him beside me would surely bring me that calm balance I was seeking! However, our Lord's plans called Skip home, plans that include me to remain here.. As I walk into His adventure, I am learning that the intimacy comes from living for Him and allowing myself to see past my pain into His eyes that reflect the calm I seek and the balance I desire.
I have been asked to speak at my church and share some of my testimony, not to share my strength....but His in me. My cough concerns me when I am asked to speak....your prayers are appreciated as I don't want to distract anyone from His glory. The passage that will be the message to go with my testimony is:
1 Peter 1:3-9 : 3Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, 5who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. 6In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 8Though you have not seen Him, you love Him; and even though you do not see Him now, you believe in Him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, 9for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.
Father, as today's gloomy forecast was truly a mirroring of my own heart, I am looking forward to the following lyrics to a song to be my true reflection......
"But now I'm sunny with a High of 75, since You took my heavy heart and made it light..and its funny how you find you enjoy your life when you're happy to be alive".
Gotta Run!
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Broke in my new shoes!
Well, I made friends today with my $150 running shoes......wow, did I just admit to buying my friends?! :) Anyways, they felt like "buttah"....so smooth!! I checked myself out in the mirror before heading out the door....totally outfitted from head to toes....new shorts...new tank top, new sports bra, new socks and shoes! I had to double check I took off all the price tags! I felt like a runner....I looked like a runner.....now, to go out and come back in SMELLING like a runner!! :)
I strapped on my IPOD and whistled for Kuuipo and we were off. 2 miles......let's keep it in perspective....8 times around my water walkway dealy...8x, 8x, 8x....8x.
I started out walking and I felt surprisingly good. Zumba the night before kinda shook me up and I actually woke up this morning kinda soar...guess that begins the motto that will become my mantra....No pain no gain! Oh yeah...and thanks Mitzi for the text letting me know Beyonce called asking for my phone number to be a back-up dancer! It's all good, smack talk only feeds my fire!! haha :)
Ok, I have went twice around and am ready to kick it up into a......jog. I am breathing in and out, taking my time....listening to my music....which doesn't drown out the soft and consistent sounds of the "thump, thump, thump of my feet as I lift 'em and drop 'em! :) I could feel myself halfway around the reservoir breathing heavily and I immediately start to feel discouraged....halfway? I'm winded halfway?! So, I keep pushing on, telling myself "keep moving, keep moving"....I am about to jog 1/4 of a mile....."don't stop Kimmy....you can do it!"....Ugh!! I am about to collapse...when I finally...reach a full circle!!!..uhum..I said....I JOGGED 1/4 of a mile!!!! Hello?? Can I get an Amen?! haha!
So I start walking again and change off and on, walking helps even out my breaths and also calms my legs and helps them feel more secure under me than the jelly they have been turned into. It seems like I need 2 walking lapse for every 1 lap of jogging...but in total I walked 1 1/2 miles and jogged 3/4's of a mile. :) I actually went around 9x! Goal accomplished!
Kuuipo and I pant back to the house for some much needed water and a/c.....we earned it! My goal was 2 miles, and I did it...."Thank you Lord, I am soo pathetic...yet am loving the way You love me too much to leave me pathetic!!! :)
And yes....."I SMELL like a runner!!" :)
Gotta Run!
I strapped on my IPOD and whistled for Kuuipo and we were off. 2 miles......let's keep it in perspective....8 times around my water walkway dealy...8x, 8x, 8x....8x.
I started out walking and I felt surprisingly good. Zumba the night before kinda shook me up and I actually woke up this morning kinda soar...guess that begins the motto that will become my mantra....No pain no gain! Oh yeah...and thanks Mitzi for the text letting me know Beyonce called asking for my phone number to be a back-up dancer! It's all good, smack talk only feeds my fire!! haha :)
Ok, I have went twice around and am ready to kick it up into a......jog. I am breathing in and out, taking my time....listening to my music....which doesn't drown out the soft and consistent sounds of the "thump, thump, thump of my feet as I lift 'em and drop 'em! :) I could feel myself halfway around the reservoir breathing heavily and I immediately start to feel discouraged....halfway? I'm winded halfway?! So, I keep pushing on, telling myself "keep moving, keep moving"....I am about to jog 1/4 of a mile....."don't stop Kimmy....you can do it!"....Ugh!! I am about to collapse...when I finally...reach a full circle!!!..uhum..I said....I JOGGED 1/4 of a mile!!!! Hello?? Can I get an Amen?! haha!
So I start walking again and change off and on, walking helps even out my breaths and also calms my legs and helps them feel more secure under me than the jelly they have been turned into. It seems like I need 2 walking lapse for every 1 lap of jogging...but in total I walked 1 1/2 miles and jogged 3/4's of a mile. :) I actually went around 9x! Goal accomplished!
Kuuipo and I pant back to the house for some much needed water and a/c.....we earned it! My goal was 2 miles, and I did it...."Thank you Lord, I am soo pathetic...yet am loving the way You love me too much to leave me pathetic!!! :)
And yes....."I SMELL like a runner!!" :)
Gotta Run!
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Zumba!.
So today was a day of cross training. This apparently means I will do alternate activities to assist with my stamina for running. Today's activity was ZUMBA Class. I had never heard of it before and was unsure of participating.....it started at 6:30pm and I had been out all day......shouldn't I just go home, spend the evening with Katie? Maybe I should rest and save my energy for my run tomorrow...the plan is to do 2 miles and run at least one of them! Anyways.....you get the picture.....I am up for ANY EXCUSE to not attend this class. However, with the Lord whispering in my ear, "I'll be there"...I find myself in the car driving to ZUMBA.
The only way to describe this class is aerobics, salsa, cardio and mambo all together...on steroids. With about 4 different instructors interchanging in the course of this hour...with about 30 other women.....all less intimidated and way more uninhibited than this chick! :) I spent half my time trying to keep up with all the moves and the other half trying to stop my brain from thinking and being ridiculously aware of the painful fact that I am not a graceful gal. :) This war in my head was truly a private one....everyone there did not care if I didn't know the steps...they did not make me feel like, "who's the new kid??", or even remotely unwelcoming...the instructors even checked on me at the end of class and asked how I liked it. The only one aware of me....was ME. My lesson learned......"Kimmy, stop worrying about what others may be thinking about you, and just simply press into the journey I have for you". It doesn't matter if I am huffing and puffing trying to attempt to run/walk around my neighborhood with my dog, or if I am huffing and puffing from swinging my hips and step ball changing......these activities will all be a part of the foundation I am building! So, once again I swallow my pride, and jump in.
Oh yeah, Did I mention I got some proper running shoes, some socks, some sassy shorts and tank tops, and even an amazing sports bra??? I am invested..and excited.. and.....very, very SCARED!!
Lord, thank you for the smiles that crossed my face tonight as I fumbled thru ZUMBA...thank you for the shoes that I will wear for the 1st time tomorrow, shoes that will prayerfully tell stories of many hikes, runs, walks and training exercises to come in this next year. My shoes and I, we are new friends now.....but we hold the promise and hope of a great relationship of endurance!
Oh yes, and thank you for my friend, my Trainer, My sister in Christ, who made sure I not only went to the dance.....but DANCED!!! :)
Gotta Run!
The only way to describe this class is aerobics, salsa, cardio and mambo all together...on steroids. With about 4 different instructors interchanging in the course of this hour...with about 30 other women.....all less intimidated and way more uninhibited than this chick! :) I spent half my time trying to keep up with all the moves and the other half trying to stop my brain from thinking and being ridiculously aware of the painful fact that I am not a graceful gal. :) This war in my head was truly a private one....everyone there did not care if I didn't know the steps...they did not make me feel like, "who's the new kid??", or even remotely unwelcoming...the instructors even checked on me at the end of class and asked how I liked it. The only one aware of me....was ME. My lesson learned......"Kimmy, stop worrying about what others may be thinking about you, and just simply press into the journey I have for you". It doesn't matter if I am huffing and puffing trying to attempt to run/walk around my neighborhood with my dog, or if I am huffing and puffing from swinging my hips and step ball changing......these activities will all be a part of the foundation I am building! So, once again I swallow my pride, and jump in.
Oh yeah, Did I mention I got some proper running shoes, some socks, some sassy shorts and tank tops, and even an amazing sports bra??? I am invested..and excited.. and.....very, very SCARED!!
Lord, thank you for the smiles that crossed my face tonight as I fumbled thru ZUMBA...thank you for the shoes that I will wear for the 1st time tomorrow, shoes that will prayerfully tell stories of many hikes, runs, walks and training exercises to come in this next year. My shoes and I, we are new friends now.....but we hold the promise and hope of a great relationship of endurance!
Oh yes, and thank you for my friend, my Trainer, My sister in Christ, who made sure I not only went to the dance.....but DANCED!!! :)
Gotta Run!
Monday, January 4, 2010
Setback??
I considered not writing at all today...but remembered this journaling is about my journey pressing towards a goal that was set on my heart....my journey to run the Honolulu Marathon. That doesn't mean I only write about my progress....or my successes....the journey is the whole enchilada....even days that may be considered setbacks.
I guess I viewed today as a setback. My cough, which is a symptom of the cancer in my lungs was and is kicking my butt today. Sometimes it appears out of the blue...I could be talking as clear as a bell and all of a sudden a shortness of breath takes over in the middle of a word...and then the strong urge to cough overtakes me right in the middle of the word or sentence I was completing. Then, as quickly as it came...it goes away. Random. Some who know me well, joke with me and say the cough is from the Lord to basically shut me up! To tell me to quiet my mouth. There may be truth to that since I have been known to leave voicemails so long I use the entire tape and have to press 1 to start over.....or I continue talking even when the cellular call was dropped minutes ago....only to have that same person call me back while words are still streaming out of my mouth.... :)
Today's cough lasted all day and is still with me into the night. It doesn't hurt when I cough....but I think it pains the listener...as the love they feel for me causes them to be pained by the obvious discomfort it sounds that I am in.
I live on Maui, an island close to the Big Island, which has active volcanoes that cause ash to fly around and create a "vog" in the air when the volcanos go off...which can cause regular breathing to be a problem, make people with asthma cringe....and apparently me, someone with cancer in my lungs....to cough non-stop, causing a minor setback in my run/walk advancing. When vog is a problem, I need to shut the windows and turn on our a/c and basically stay inside.
With that said, the day is not a total waste. I know this desire to run this marathon was not born by a desire I created...if I am to do this, it will be God directing the entire thing...with moments of setbacks and days of progress already factored in. For me, it was hard to get to that place of understanding today...although I know I am facing quite a big challenge, I didn't want to face that my cough, my health, could take a day away from me......yet that is the reality I live in.
Thankfully, I can rest in the complete knowledge that He is in control and I am not. He showed me my weakness today and reminded me once again, that when my feet move, it's because He chooses to move them. There is peace in that. Thanks for reading my heart. I look forward to tomorrow, whatever it brings.
Gotta Run
I guess I viewed today as a setback. My cough, which is a symptom of the cancer in my lungs was and is kicking my butt today. Sometimes it appears out of the blue...I could be talking as clear as a bell and all of a sudden a shortness of breath takes over in the middle of a word...and then the strong urge to cough overtakes me right in the middle of the word or sentence I was completing. Then, as quickly as it came...it goes away. Random. Some who know me well, joke with me and say the cough is from the Lord to basically shut me up! To tell me to quiet my mouth. There may be truth to that since I have been known to leave voicemails so long I use the entire tape and have to press 1 to start over.....or I continue talking even when the cellular call was dropped minutes ago....only to have that same person call me back while words are still streaming out of my mouth.... :)
Today's cough lasted all day and is still with me into the night. It doesn't hurt when I cough....but I think it pains the listener...as the love they feel for me causes them to be pained by the obvious discomfort it sounds that I am in.
I live on Maui, an island close to the Big Island, which has active volcanoes that cause ash to fly around and create a "vog" in the air when the volcanos go off...which can cause regular breathing to be a problem, make people with asthma cringe....and apparently me, someone with cancer in my lungs....to cough non-stop, causing a minor setback in my run/walk advancing. When vog is a problem, I need to shut the windows and turn on our a/c and basically stay inside.
With that said, the day is not a total waste. I know this desire to run this marathon was not born by a desire I created...if I am to do this, it will be God directing the entire thing...with moments of setbacks and days of progress already factored in. For me, it was hard to get to that place of understanding today...although I know I am facing quite a big challenge, I didn't want to face that my cough, my health, could take a day away from me......yet that is the reality I live in.
Thankfully, I can rest in the complete knowledge that He is in control and I am not. He showed me my weakness today and reminded me once again, that when my feet move, it's because He chooses to move them. There is peace in that. Thanks for reading my heart. I look forward to tomorrow, whatever it brings.
Gotta Run
Sunday, January 3, 2010
1st Training Day
So yesterday I woke up with the understanding that no matter how travel weary I felt from flying back from NYC to Maui on the 1st.....I was going to start my training for the Honolulu Marathon. Gulp. I know I SAID I would.....but lounging the day away after being on plane after plane for over 15hrs surely warranted as a good excuse to start "tomorrow"......That thought pressed into me so deeply that I immediately recognized the power it could have over me. I quickly got up from my comfy couch and went to my bedroom to get my shorts and tank top. My daughter was still in her pj's in my bed with that look that said, "I have no plans for the entire day but to stay in this bed and watch mindless tv, and surf the web"... As I pulled out my clothes and started hunting for matching socks I announced what I was doing. She looked at me and asked one question, "you're gonna start right now?"....I nodded my head and continued to dig thru my drawer lifting up bathing suit tops, bras, fuzzy warm sleeping socks....oh! one sock! Then still digging, she got out of bed and left the room. I finally found a "close" match to the one sock in my hand and while making a mental note to "buy socks", went to change. Ok...shorts, tank top, deodorant, hair in a bun....let's go find some tennis shoes and head out! As I walked into the living room, Katie was at the kitchen table with the IPOD she bought me for Christmas...the IPOD that I had no idea how to use, or even what it was when I unwrapped it. But when she told me what it was and pressed the on button...there popped up a picture of Skip and I right when it turned on! My eyes immediately filled with tears as she explained that she downloaded over 800 photos for me, over 300 songs from cd's she had made for me in the past, and movies for our plane rides to NYC. Yep, she is a keeper! :) Anyway, there she was getting the IPOD ready with my headphones and putting it in this arm case thingy that a friend lent me when I told him I was going to start running. So, after I find my shoes and put them on, she straps me into this magical contraption that will take my mind to beautiful places as each song plays on a "shuffle" list automatically. :)
Before walking out the door, we pray, "Lord, let me run/walk with energy from You, let me push myself farther than I think I can go, and let me see and hear your voice with each step". Amen. This whole time our dog, Kuuipo, is excitedly racing thru the house, pushing her leash that is hanging on the garage door, knowing she's gonna go for a walk...what she doesn't know is that it's gonna be a walk/run like she has never been on! Let me just break it down....we are lazing, relaxing, cruising people....going for a walk to us means twice around the little reservoir behind our house...occasionally. Today, I had set in my mind that I was going around 10 times! I figured 4x around equalled a mile...so on my 1st day 2 1/2 miles was going to be my goal.
So off Kuuipo and I went! I had my music and she was off running without her leash, we both were happy! So I figured I would walk the first round, then run the next, and so on...praying that I was not going to just quit after the 2nd round...
There was no one else out on the sidewalk path and we were happily enjoying the warmth of the sun on our faces after being freezing in NYC, even covered from head to foot in loads of clothing!! This felt wonderful! As I neared the completion of my 1st time around I was gearing up to break into a slow jog...that's the only pace I have...so I began slowly jogging and took deep breaths and found myself trying harder to get lost in the music. As I neared the halfway mark of my 2nd lap, I was doubting my ability to run a full lap......I pushed harder, jogging on....and at the 3/4 mark started to walk again. Ugh! I am soooo outta shape! I walked and breathed and walked and breathed and before I knew it, I walked and breathed into my 5th time around! Although I wanted to try jogging again, I was happy to at least be moving at any pace!!! I would break into a jog and try to look at a distance ahead and tell myself the goal was to make it to at least that point while jogging...sometimes I would make it, more often...I would start walking before I hit that imaginary marker. With every turn, with every completion of a lap, I would talk with the Lord, "if this is how it is to be, please move my steps, please break down any disappoint I feel, let it be enough that I am out here, walking....still pressing into the 10 lap goal". Kuuipo even stopped running ahead of me after the 4th lap and was happily cruising beside me, or even sometimes behind me!! I would look back for her from time to time and laugh to myself and say, "I know, we've never done this before, poor thing, at least I CHOSE to do this.....you had no idea"!!!!! :) We rounded our 9th lap and I figured I would try to finish strong and started jogging again. I kept jogging at a slow pace, singing the words to the music in my head, always glancing at where I was in comparison to my "finish".....it didn't seem to be getting any closer! My breathing was heavy and my legs felt like jelly....still I pressed on and rounded the last corner to the end of my 10th lap!!!!! I had finished!!!!! As we jogged SLOWLY back to my house and to the front door I was astounded by myself! Yes, it was a pathetic attempt....yes, I was ridiculously exhausted, and yes....you could hardly call what I did run/walking......but listen to me clearly....whatever it was......I DID IT!!!! :) I grabbed a bottle of water and collapsed onto a chair while I heard Kuuipo lapping up her water as well....Amen girl, we did it. Now, we just need to rest....so we can be ready for....tomorrow!! Katie came out and said, "how was it? How far did you go?"....I was able to talk in breaths and told her I went around 10x.....her eyes got big and she said, "Mom, that's great! That's over 2 miles.....did you run the whole time?"......Ouch! Why did she have to ask that question??!!!! I told her no, I barely "jogged" 2x around.....She smiled and helped me take my shoes and socks off and said, "good job, Mom, way to go"....
Thank you Lord, for this humbling experience, this beginning that has so far to go, let me fully and completely rely on You....push me when needed, speak to me in the quiet moments when it's just You and me.
Thank you for sharing my 1st day with me. I pray you press on with me, I pray your prayers will include little 'ol me as I continue this process....one day at a time!!!
Gotta Run!
Before walking out the door, we pray, "Lord, let me run/walk with energy from You, let me push myself farther than I think I can go, and let me see and hear your voice with each step". Amen. This whole time our dog, Kuuipo, is excitedly racing thru the house, pushing her leash that is hanging on the garage door, knowing she's gonna go for a walk...what she doesn't know is that it's gonna be a walk/run like she has never been on! Let me just break it down....we are lazing, relaxing, cruising people....going for a walk to us means twice around the little reservoir behind our house...occasionally. Today, I had set in my mind that I was going around 10 times! I figured 4x around equalled a mile...so on my 1st day 2 1/2 miles was going to be my goal.
So off Kuuipo and I went! I had my music and she was off running without her leash, we both were happy! So I figured I would walk the first round, then run the next, and so on...praying that I was not going to just quit after the 2nd round...
There was no one else out on the sidewalk path and we were happily enjoying the warmth of the sun on our faces after being freezing in NYC, even covered from head to foot in loads of clothing!! This felt wonderful! As I neared the completion of my 1st time around I was gearing up to break into a slow jog...that's the only pace I have...so I began slowly jogging and took deep breaths and found myself trying harder to get lost in the music. As I neared the halfway mark of my 2nd lap, I was doubting my ability to run a full lap......I pushed harder, jogging on....and at the 3/4 mark started to walk again. Ugh! I am soooo outta shape! I walked and breathed and walked and breathed and before I knew it, I walked and breathed into my 5th time around! Although I wanted to try jogging again, I was happy to at least be moving at any pace!!! I would break into a jog and try to look at a distance ahead and tell myself the goal was to make it to at least that point while jogging...sometimes I would make it, more often...I would start walking before I hit that imaginary marker. With every turn, with every completion of a lap, I would talk with the Lord, "if this is how it is to be, please move my steps, please break down any disappoint I feel, let it be enough that I am out here, walking....still pressing into the 10 lap goal". Kuuipo even stopped running ahead of me after the 4th lap and was happily cruising beside me, or even sometimes behind me!! I would look back for her from time to time and laugh to myself and say, "I know, we've never done this before, poor thing, at least I CHOSE to do this.....you had no idea"!!!!! :) We rounded our 9th lap and I figured I would try to finish strong and started jogging again. I kept jogging at a slow pace, singing the words to the music in my head, always glancing at where I was in comparison to my "finish".....it didn't seem to be getting any closer! My breathing was heavy and my legs felt like jelly....still I pressed on and rounded the last corner to the end of my 10th lap!!!!! I had finished!!!!! As we jogged SLOWLY back to my house and to the front door I was astounded by myself! Yes, it was a pathetic attempt....yes, I was ridiculously exhausted, and yes....you could hardly call what I did run/walking......but listen to me clearly....whatever it was......I DID IT!!!! :) I grabbed a bottle of water and collapsed onto a chair while I heard Kuuipo lapping up her water as well....Amen girl, we did it. Now, we just need to rest....so we can be ready for....tomorrow!! Katie came out and said, "how was it? How far did you go?"....I was able to talk in breaths and told her I went around 10x.....her eyes got big and she said, "Mom, that's great! That's over 2 miles.....did you run the whole time?"......Ouch! Why did she have to ask that question??!!!! I told her no, I barely "jogged" 2x around.....She smiled and helped me take my shoes and socks off and said, "good job, Mom, way to go"....
Thank you Lord, for this humbling experience, this beginning that has so far to go, let me fully and completely rely on You....push me when needed, speak to me in the quiet moments when it's just You and me.
Thank you for sharing my 1st day with me. I pray you press on with me, I pray your prayers will include little 'ol me as I continue this process....one day at a time!!!
Gotta Run!
Saturday, January 2, 2010
January 2, 2010
Hello!
With nervousness in my heart I am beginning this blog to keep me on task and accountable for the ultimate goal in mind.......to run in the next Honolulu Marathon!!!!!! Yikes, just to type it makes my palms sweat!!
I am not a runner. I am not a exercise enthusiast. I don't even walk my dog everyday. However, that is all about to change as I press into this journey of running the marathon. Why? So glad you asked!..........
On June 26, 2009, my best friend, my partner in crime, my dear husband, Skip Barraco went home to be with the Lord. He was enjoying a beautiful day of surfing on Oahu and the Lord called him home. We have been learning how to live without his presence for 6 months, and no, it hasn't gotten easier, yet we know our Lord and Savior is in complete control and we are not. If this is the journey the Lord has called me to, He will move and guide me thru the uncertainties ahead. In September, I was told that my Breast Cancer from 6yrs ago had returned and now has traveled into both of my lungs. I say this to share my story and ask that you pray for my daughter and myself as we look up for guidance, reassurance and comfort.
With that said, I want to run in the next Honolulu Marathon to show myself and my precious daughter that my strength comes from the Lord and I will fight to live in every moment He chooses for me to live in.
Running. It has always been something that "looked" appealing when I watched others do it, from the comfort of my couch, car seat or park bench...but with my health as it is, I am implementing changes to my diet and now exercise....what a goal to work towards!
Katie girl, as you live..... I pray you see me live, love, and be actively about my Fathers' business. If you watch me when I think you are not......please see God in me, and know He carries me into each moment.
"Gotta Run"
With nervousness in my heart I am beginning this blog to keep me on task and accountable for the ultimate goal in mind.......to run in the next Honolulu Marathon!!!!!! Yikes, just to type it makes my palms sweat!!
I am not a runner. I am not a exercise enthusiast. I don't even walk my dog everyday. However, that is all about to change as I press into this journey of running the marathon. Why? So glad you asked!..........
On June 26, 2009, my best friend, my partner in crime, my dear husband, Skip Barraco went home to be with the Lord. He was enjoying a beautiful day of surfing on Oahu and the Lord called him home. We have been learning how to live without his presence for 6 months, and no, it hasn't gotten easier, yet we know our Lord and Savior is in complete control and we are not. If this is the journey the Lord has called me to, He will move and guide me thru the uncertainties ahead. In September, I was told that my Breast Cancer from 6yrs ago had returned and now has traveled into both of my lungs. I say this to share my story and ask that you pray for my daughter and myself as we look up for guidance, reassurance and comfort.
With that said, I want to run in the next Honolulu Marathon to show myself and my precious daughter that my strength comes from the Lord and I will fight to live in every moment He chooses for me to live in.
Running. It has always been something that "looked" appealing when I watched others do it, from the comfort of my couch, car seat or park bench...but with my health as it is, I am implementing changes to my diet and now exercise....what a goal to work towards!
Katie girl, as you live..... I pray you see me live, love, and be actively about my Fathers' business. If you watch me when I think you are not......please see God in me, and know He carries me into each moment.
"Gotta Run"
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