I AM A 2010 HONOLULU MARATHON FINISHER!!!

I have been thinking about this "Aloha Blog" for sometime now...wondering what words the Lord would give to me. I'm sitting here, 2 days after the Marathon, still wondering! Okay Lord, please show up, show off, and let Your words come out of me!

We flew from Maui to Oahu the Friday before the race. My Mother-in-Law, niece, friend Sarah, Carol and I, all arrived with excitement and our own individual thoughts and emotions. We picked up our Race packets right after we arrived. The Honolulu Marathon had over 26,000 runners and 60% of those runners were from Japan. Walking thru the Expo was like being at Disneyland and riding "It's a Small World". I heard so many different languages in the 2 hours we were there, some lilting and lyrical, others choppy and gruff..some just plain loud and annoying. :) Although I could not begin to tell you what they were saying "exactly"...I got the gist of it, we were all EXCITED to be there and we all wanted souvenirs to take home to commemorate our achievements! No need for a translator...we were linked by a common goal. In less than 48hrs we were all going to walk, jog, run, crawl.. 26.2 miles. A key chain, a t-shirt, a water bottle...even a bumper sticker, all sounded like wise ways to spend our money!! :)

Saturday morning we set out to drive the course. From start to finish we drove mile after mile, taking note of the port a potty locations, the inclines, the shady stretches and of course..the only hill on the course..Diamond Head. The drive took us about an hour and a half....the run on sunday would be a completely different story!

By Saturday night my emotions were on high tilt...someone would hug me and look me deep in the eyes and I would well up. I spoke with family and friends on the phone and I would break down and ball. We would be praying and I would weep and then get it together, only to have them cry!! There was no getting around it, I was experiencing deep emotions that I had held at bay for a very long time. The flood gates opened up and I came face to face with all my sorrows, fears, doubts, excitement, nerves and just plain disbelief that the "moment" had arrived. We had carbed up for dinner, I had pinned my bib number to my jog bra, my running chip was secured on my shoes, and I had sent my last FB status update. It was time to hit the sack. My cousins were driving Sarah, Carol and I to the race in the morning and had generously opened their home to us the night before. Carol and Sarah were in one room and I was in another. Kale, one of my cousin's sons' graciously lent me his room. Kale is a great guy...who loves animals...ALL animals. He has been known to bring home strays of all kinds and give them a home..in his room..the one I would be sleeping in.

That night, the night before the race...the race I have been training for, Kale's room was home to a snake and an Iguana. When it was time to go to bed, I went upstairs to his room and opened the door and turned on the switch for the light. Nothing happened. The room remained pitch black. I shut the door and stood outside of his room for a few seconds. I opened the door and tried the switch again..still NOTHING. Trying to not let my imagination get the best of me..I went downstairs and asked his sister, "Is Kale's snake and Iguana in their glass tanks with the lids on...with no possibility of them getting out?" I could see on her face that she was actually playing with the idea of "toying" with me. I stood my ground and gave her the "look" and repeated my question. Once she confirmed that there was no chance that Kale's pets could get loose, I resigned myself to believing her and went back upstairs. I opened the door, walked in the room and shut the door. I was immediately engulfed in blackness..and eery quiet! I took a deep breath and took another step toward what I could only assume was the direction to the bed. I walked right into a drum set..and was greeted by the clanging of the symbols! I stilled it..AND my heart and pressed on. I took tentative steps and tried to feel my way around. I walked over piles of clothes and made my way to the mattress on the floor. I cleared the bed of "stuff" that seemed like a tennis shoe, more clothes and possibly a clock that was unplugged. I straightened the covers, put my headphones on, turned my IPOD to "shuffle", said goodnight to my caged (Lord, I pray they are caged!), roommates, and fell into a deep sleep! Thank you, Lord!!!

We woke the next morning, RACE DAY at 3am. We planned to be at the race by 4:15ish so we would have plenty of time to get settled before the race started at 5am. My first thought when I got up was, "Here we go". Putting on my running clothes felt almost like I was going for an early morning jog..something I had been doing for almost 11 months now. There was just one big difference..my top had a bib number pinned to it...9782. This was the day I had been training for. This was the day I had been imagining in my head. This was the day that me and 26,000 other runners had marked on our calenders. This was the day that the Lord had made! Honestly, I was not experiencing feelings of rejoicing or being glad in it!! Yet.

We arrived at the race, toast in our bellies and port a potties on our minds. Downtown Honolulu was in full Marathon mode..from the loud pulsing music blaring from well positioned speakers..to the local news teams interviewing excited runners..to the now familiar layers of languages all swirling around me. Fifteen minutes before the Start, we stood still and sang the National Anthem..Five minutes before the Start, the sky exploded with a brilliant display of fireworks. The last minute before we took our first steps..I prayed, "Lord, I'm Yours, let's do this!"

I wasn't going to share this next fact..but I remembered this is MY Blog, what you read is all of me! The night before the race, I took my running shoes and went to a quiet spot. I took out a small container I brought from home and held it close to my heart. I opened the lid, and with love and the Lord in my heart..poured it's contents onto the inside souls of my shoes. When the Race started, I took those first steps, with prayer on my lips, determination in my heart..and a tiny portion of my dear Skip's ashes in my shoes..he would be taking the journey with me, every step of the way!

Mile after mile we pressed on. The sea of runners, joggers and walkers was so thick, we were weaving in and out at a consistent pace for the first several miles. I have mentioned this before and I'll say it again..I am not a "joyful" jogger. I begin every run with one thought in mind..to finish! Carol and Sarah chatted about the weather, the crazy outfits that some runners were wearing, the stores we passed along the route, and the Christmas lights displayed brightly in the darkness of the early morning. I said not one word. At one point, it may have been around mile 13, Carol came along one side of me and Sarah the other. Carol asked, "do you wanna hear about Sarah's story of moving from her townhouse to her house..or do you wanna stay focused?"..I grunted, "stay focused". It's not a truth I'm proud of..but I just was not IN THE MOOD to CHAT!

I could easily have cried from mile one all the way to the Finish. My emotions had my eyes brimming with tears and I had to force myself to swallow them and put them in check. I told myself I had to keep it together and not shed my tears until I could afford the emotional cost. I drank water and Gatorade from every hydration station. I ate every Goo chomp Carol handed me without argument. I even squatted in the bushes to "shishi" rather than wait in the ridiculously long lines for the bathrooms. What I couldn't do..was lose my focus.

Mile 20 came and my wheels started to come off. Everything was going fine up until then. I started to notice that my legs hurt..ALOT. I started to ache in the backs of my knees, and my tears were getting harder to swallow back. After mile 20, I started to LOOK HARD for every mile marker. The miles seemed to go on FOREVER! The silence from all the runners seemed louder than the live bands that were playing in front yards along the route. To be surrounded by so many people that were saying nothing, was noticeable. I will remember that quiet mixed with the sound of feet pounding on the pavement forever and define it as "focused determination".

Mile 23 had us trekking up Diamond Head for the second time. The hill felt never ending. I kept looking for the next mile marker and saying to myself, "Come on 24!!! Come on 24!!" When we hit mile 24 I immediately began scanning ahead for mile marker 25!! Throughout the entire race I continued to say out loud to myself, "You Got This!, Lord, WE Got This!" I repeated that phrase over and over as I took step after step. I stopped and stretched several times between mile 24 and 25. My legs felt like rubber and now..the tears were silently streaming down my face. I couldn't hold them in any longer. My emotions were surfacing and exploding out of me. As Diamond Head leveled out I looked to my left and took in the breathtaking view of the ocean and the sun shining so brightly above it and on it. I looked out at the surfers and smiled thru my tears. I was openly sobbing as I saw surfers catch wave after wave. I spoke to Skip and said, "Babe, this is it. I'm doing it! We're doing it! I know you are proud of me, can you believe I'm about to finish this thing!!?" I took deep breaths and told Carol how much I loved her. We hit mile 26 and jogged down Diamond Head and started to make the turn towards the Finish. I could see the big white tents, the tents that housed my Finisher t-shirt and medal!!! The three of us raised our arms and jogged on as they announced our names over the loudspeaker. I heard my name being yelled and saw friends and family cheering us on. I stopped on the way in and hugged them all, crying with them as they lovingly waved signs, took pictures and shared in this amazing moment!

The whole race was such an individual journey. Although I was surrounded by all those people, knowing the Lord had moved my feet every step of the way..I had to acknowledge my part: I chose to let the Lord move me. Mile after mile, six hours and 50 minutes out on that course..I was yielded to my Father. I faced myself and all that was and is inside of me. Six hours and 50 minutes is a long time for self introspection. I truly experienced moments of aloneness. Moments of deep sorrow, knowing that Skip would not physically be greeting me at the Finish. I had to be honest with myself and admit that a small part of me still clung to the tiniest of hopes that he would..somehow be there. Believing that by accomplishing this goal that I set..by sweating..aching and digging deeper than I ever have physically AND mentally..the Lord would choose to turn the "reality clock" back..just for me. Some of the tears I shed as I neared that Finish line were born from needing to once again accept what the truth was, what my God had decided to be my reality. The other tears that rolled down my face, the tears that caused me to raise my hands high to the sky, the tears that I could smile through..were born from sharing my achievement with those who love me. Those who pray for me. Those who embraced me at the Finish, and those who were across the ocean whispering up prayers on my behalf. I cried because I miss my best friend..but I am RICH with love!!

Katie girl hugged me and whispered in my ear that she is proud to be my daughter. She said, "Mom, I'm so thankful that God gave me you as an example of how to love Him". For that gift, I cried thankful tears, humbled tears and overwhelmed tears.

This "Aloha Blog" could go on and on..but I believe everything has been said. I am honored that you took this journey with me. I am blessed that your prayers, love and encouragement carried me mile after mile. I pray that what He chose for me to write, would allow you to see Him in me and in yourselves. Our journeys are all different, all mixed with joys and sorrows. However, our common thread of hope, the reason we strive to understand and fulfill our purpose, is truly what links our hearts together.

The race was not about me finishing, although that was my goal. The days of training, the learned discipline, the action of obedience, no matter if I "felt" like it..was God's plan the entire time for me. Long ago, during a trying time in my life, I heard the Lord audibly say to me repeatedly, "Kimmy, if you love Me, you will serve with Me with your whole heart". That's the journey. That continues to be my plan.

I will press on, and serve Him with my whole heart! The morning of the race I wrote "2 Tim. 4:7" on my left arm..I looked down at it alot on race day. Although it has since been washed off..it will forever be imprinted on my heart!

2 Timothy 4:7 "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith."

The Marathon continues..for all of us!

My heart is getting put back together because of your love for Him that spills out of each of you..onto me! I flew back to Maui wearing my FINISHER t-shirt and medal proudly! My running shoes were peeled off my feet after the race..and haven't been touched since!

Gotta Run!
(Not literally..I'm taking a little break!)

Click here to see my finisher video!