Romans 15:13

"May the God of your hope so fill you with all joy and peace in believing [through the experience of your faith] that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound and be overflowing (bubbling over) with hope". Romans 15: 13



Have you ever hesitated jumping head first into joy?

It's the craziest thing, but that is what I feel I am doing..hesitating. I am God's kid, His creation to mold, bend, grow and stretch as He sees fit. Yet we all can recognize the difference when we are walking in obedience without deep emotions pressing us on, simply saying "yes, Lord", "I trust You, even when I don't understand". Then there is the "thrill" of obedience that we get caught up in... because it is just that heady! We climb higher and higher up the high dive that He leads us on, with that tightening in our stomach that doesn't quite have the ability to talk us down....but gets us just enough twisted inside that we let out some nervous laughter, as we keep reaching for the next rung, keep lifting one foot after the other onto the next step leading us higher, knowing the only way down is to take that dive, and leap off the platform, feeling that...joyful, reckless abandon!

I am following the Lord, obediently yielding to Him as I run mile after mile. More often than not, it is the obedience of simply saying, "yes"..(more like, "ugh!!!! aaalllrrriigghhtt!"). Pushing beyond my own limits of comfort...believing that with each jump I take into progress, He meets me there and asks a little more of me. I'm starting..just a little..to sense a quiet joy building. Now, I definitely won't admit that before a run, and I would be breathlessly "joyful" when it's over.

I can proudly say that as of last week, I can now run 2 miles without stopping! I run 12 minute miles! This is heady stuff to me. I have LITERALLY miles to go....but I have come so far, He has taken me so far! I feel like a runner! Last Friday, on our long training day, I ran 8 miles total, but for the first time experienced running 2 miles without stopping for 2 minutes in between! {Yes, this is where you are impressed by me)!

Still, after 4 months of training, I STILL try to think of excuses not to run..I STILL get butterflies in my stomach when we start to take off, and I STILL groan every time Carol tells me to "keep on going, don't stop"!...but I am slowly, oh so slowly!..getting used to pushing past MYSELF.

Beyond my marathon training, the Lord continues to open doors for me, revealing and confirming His plans for me daily.

I have been asked to speak at our Calvary Chapel South Maui's Women's Retreat in May. What a true honor to share God's word with women and walk with them as He allows His message to come out of me! I have also been asked to be a guest speaker in June at Cornerstone Christian Church's Women's Summer Session in Wildomar, California. Both studies, each different, are opportunities I did not seek out...they were presented to me to pray about, which I have and continue to do so as I move forward in obedience to Him. I believe this is an area in which the Lord is calling me to pursue. For now, I feel strongly that He is prompting me to continue writing...and wait for His direction. Once again, trusting He will guide and lead.

It's the high dive all over again. It's the hesitation of embracing joy...almost as if I have gotten comfortable with seeking to be obedient without emotion. Waking up every morning and asking Him to move my feet without a strong emotional pull one way or the other. Knowing the act of obedience will lead me closer to Him and His will. That truth has been and continues to be sufficient. Yet...He's starting to tell me that joy... is coming. It's a part of His plan...and I am hesitant to receive it, to feel it, and honestly...to desire it.

"Lord, be enough. Fill me to overflowing, let me not fear your gift of joy. Let me relax in smiling, not wonder if I should. Let me bathe in "belly-aching, head thrown back, water out my nose, gotta pee" laughter, without questioning it. Let me embrace the unexpected giggles that erupt from being...joyful.

And as I take that dive, head first...let me close my eyes as a smile forms on my lips...and thank you for it!!

Gotta Run!