Great Aloha Run Eve

Tomorrow is the Great Aloha Run.....8.6 miles on Oahu. This race will have over 22,000 runners participating and I am looking forward to being a part of it. Earlier this week Carol and I walked/jogged over 8 miles on Maui on the beach. It was a nice confidence booster to give me a small taste of what's to come. I am finding that I am recovering quicker from the jogging spurts we do...which is awesome! I still don't consider myself a runner by any stretch of the imagination, but I am seeing improvements which give me great encouragement.

Today is Valentine's....that special day when love is celebrated, regardless if it's a new romance, or one that has stood the test of time. I sat in church this morning and our Pastor asked all the couples represented to stand so we could pray for them....staying seated and closing my eyes to pray was a little harder than I expected. Not because I didn't want to pray for the couples.....more because I wanted to be one... This journey is definitely one that seems to unfold in ways I can't seem to anticipate. I can however, keep my eyes looking up and continue gaining strength from the one who chose it for me.

I shed tears today...not because of all the valentine's hype....it seemed as if something was bubbling to the surface...and as I tried to control it, I had to face the reality that I may need to let it truly surface. Sometimes pushing the pain down and pressing on is easier, much easier, than going deep with pain that may leave me spinning a little out of control. I seem to want to choose the time and place for my tears...yet I am beginning to realize that may not be left for me to control.

Being on Oahu can be a double edged sword......it is great to drive around and see familiar places that bring back tender, funny, special memories from years gone by. Yet those memories can cut deeply...I think that is what happened today, and I was trying desperately to shut the door and keep those emotions at bay. Lord, give me the strength and courage to face what You want me to, when You want me to, in the way You want me to.

Tonight... I will shut my mind down, close my eyes and rest in the knowledge that I am where I am supposed to be and sleep with assurance that I have done what I was supposed to do.

Tomorrow... I will get up before 5am, put on those familiar running clothes, my shoes that have become friends, and I will show up and dance.

Gotta Run!