Just do it!

Katie and I flew to Colorado to celebrate my Sister-in-law and niece's weddings. One of them was celebrated on Skip's birthday. To feel so many emotions deeply as I watched and rejoiced as the precious couple shared their vows and began their married life together was overwhelming. I sat there and held my Father-in-laws hand as tears streamed down my face....tears of joy that mixed with tears of longing for what is not mine anymore. This beautiful man I watched grow from a young cocky 23yr old turned 46.......will forever be 45 to me. As I press into each day and strive to live that day to the fullest, I will always remember my best friend the way he last was....he will not age in my memory.....he will not have grey hair, just salt & pepper around the sides and behind his ears...He will forever be 45.

This weekend we had a Tsunami warning and we needed to evacuate from our home that sits less than 2 blocks from the ocean. As I gathered important papers, passports, medical kits....Katie gathered treasures that were of pictures of our family, of memories she wanted with her....we had no idea what to expect to come home to, we were basically working on auto pilot. When we were able to come home and be thankful that the Tsunami was a non-event for Hawaii, I took a moment as I was putting our things back. All that I chose to gather, were things that Skip would have gathered......things Katie chose, were things my heart would have led me to take as well. This man that will always be 45yrs old, continues to speak to me, guiding me, into this new life of responsibility and concern for our daughter. Not that I was not the person I am now...but who I was allowed to be and who I am called to be are very different indeed.

Lord, I am so thankful the Tsunami was a Shmunami......much ado about nothing....thank you. Just as you calmed the sea and chose to redirect the waves....I trust in you to calm my heart and still my tears.....when You choose. In the meantime, thank you for wiping my tears and catching me when I fall.

It seems that.. "when we NEED to do.....we do". When we have others in our lives to do....we let them. I am now, THE do-er, I am doing, I am getting things done. :)

This week Carol has decided to step up my training and focus on jogging....my weakness! I seem to have mastered the art of walking.....now to focus on jogging. Carol says "go"...and I go, and my heart beats fast, my breathing is labored and her stopwatch seems to have stopped working! 3 minutes, 5 minutes...have never gone by soooo slowly in my life! I am convinced she is lying when she says, "It's only been 2minutes.....keep going". Still...I do, I keep going. My body aches and I have sweat dripping from my eyebrows and I am aware that I am at the beginning of my journey, yet...I AM DOING IT!

Gotta Run!